Well, Kind Of.

The only people who know I'm bi are my college friends. I'm pretty open about it on campus, since people up there are generally cool with that sort of thing.

Home is a different story. My dad is the kind of person who makes people hate the Republican party. He's pretty open about the fact that he thinks that homosexuals are the scum of the earth and that sort of filth isn't allowed in our household. (For example, a good friend of mine in high school was a lesbian. My parents forbade me to do anything with her outside of school--they couldn't prevent that.)

So, it's pretty much a given that I'm going to get kicked out if I come out. I'm closeted to my parents out of necessity. I simply don't have the means to support myself right now: I'm still in school, and my degree program keeps me busy enough that I don't have time to work on the side, while still keeping the grades to keep my scholarships. As much as it depresses me that I have to hide such a large part of myself during the few chunks of the year I'm living at home, it simply isn't practical right now to come out.

I've thought about telling my sister, though. We're really close and I've had the nagging suspicion for a while now that she's a full-out lesbian. And my mom has a cousin who I suspect would be really supportive of this sort of thing. But my parents? I'll probably hold off on telling them that I like girls until I'm established as financially independent. Besides, I really don't plan on staying close with them. Sure, they are my parents; they gave birth to me and raised me and everything, but I can't bring myself to fully love and respect a pair of people who can't bring themselves to accept me.

VolensVivarium VolensVivarium
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 29, 2008

I face the same situation.

I admire you. While there are people in your life that would not be tolerant of who you are you are still going out there and living your way.<br />
<br />
IDK.. its weird for me- because on the one hand Ive never been secretive about my sexuality. I found it just as natural to be kissing girls as boys WAY before i was thinking about sexual orientation... but- at the same time, i'd never tell my parents. It just wouldn't be okay with them.

Hi! You may find this interesting. <br />
<br />
Please pass this on too... it can be helpful to someone <br />
<br />
http://www.amazon.com/Figuring-Out-N-S-B/dp/0979216303 <br />
http://www.myspace.com/figuringitoutbook <br />
<br />
Figuring IT Out by NSB - A Coming Out Story. <br />
<br />
This books has been rated with 4.6 out of 5 in Amazon. <br />
com <br />
This book will help your friends know that they are not alone; that they are not different; that what they are feeling is normal... <br />
<br />
From the author herself: <br />
"I started this project to share my experience with the hope that it will make others feel less alone and more understood, and to inspire empathy in those who have not had the experience themselves." -- NSB

Yes, it's very sad that people have to hide away. In the future, they're going to look back and laugh at today's society. "Look at how those people treated each other! And for what? What good did it bring?"<br />
<br />
Myself, I'm looking forward to the day people will freely have the choice to tell the ones they love (or not to) without fear of being beaten, disowned, or worse. I'm all for "Don't ask, don't tell" when it's appropriate, but it's hard when it comes to people you love. I'm sure you've all seen that for yourselves though. <br />
<br />
But hey, that's what makes being -here- so much fun...amirite? XD<br />
<br />
Oh, and have a good time on your trip. Be safe! :)

I can totally understand your situation, as most queers can! At least one person in everyone's life would not understand or aprrove of them coming out. I would suggest you do just as you've been doing, don't tell. You say you're with a guy? It should be much easier to appear straight if you have a bf. Do you even need to come out to them? Your orientation is your business.

Aww...thanks, guys. =)<br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure my parents don't suspect (I've been dating the same guy for three years), so I think I'm good for now. Now, here's just hoping they don't find out that I'm in the GLBT club on campus and plan on going to the gay district of our state capital in a month or so...

It sounds like you and I are in the same boat for the most part. But my mom's okay with the fact that I'm bi, as she's a lesbian herself. <br />
<br />
My dad, on the other hand, would probably have a lot in common with yours. He's done everything in his power to ruin my mother's life. It makes me sick. <br />
<br />
Anyway, good luck! :)