The Worse Part About Going To My Friend's Big, Fat Arab Wedding... knowing I won't ever know that kind of public celebration.

I watched my friend marry her second husband in her big white wedding dress, covered from head to do in linen and lace and diamonds.  She's dancing with her new husband to 'Endless Love' and he lifts her up and swings her around, all the parts of her thousands dollar dress flowing in the air around her.  She is beautiful and I, having known her for many years, am only one of many who know that no one deserves the man of her dreams more than she does.

And I'm happy for her...

And sad all at the same time.

Sitting with my coworkers -- both with their husbands -- I sit alone without so much as a date to have brought me. I have no one in my life that would tolerate such an event with me and as I would never, never miss the wedding that my friend was so thoughtful to invite me to, well, here I sit...alone.

But being alone doesn't bother me.  I'm often alone most places than I go (except when I'm with my daughters).

It's being alone and realizing that I will never marry in a big way.  I will not have caterers and halls and food that stretches for miles.  My father will not walk me down the aisle or dance with me alone under a spotlight.  No one will say; "I knew you two would always be together!" and give me and mate loving hugs.


Man, this closet sure is dark sometimes.

Spiderlace Spiderlace
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 28, 2012

i know. it sucks. i always think about this wedding crap. i mean. would i be able to propose? lol. i even chuckle sometimes.<br />
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i feel your pain!