I Am a Closet Lesbian

Willing To Come Out For The Sake Of Love

By: strikien

Written on March 9th, 2012

I am an average looking girl who has a boring life. I've been hiding inside the closet and now I realized that I've been depriving myself the chance of loving and being loved by someone. I am an introvert and it's quite difficult for me to open up with anyone. I've never been in any kind of relationship. I'm keeping myself distant from everyone for fear of exposing my true sexuality. I used to think that I can continue my life like this and be happy but now I can't help but feel envious whenever I see people being happy in their relationship. I'm sad. My heart is longing for someone. My life is undeniably incomplete and everyday I ask myself a hundred times what am I living for. There is nothing memorable in my past, nothing valuable in my present and I fear that there is nothing for me in the future. I have a loving family and I am thankful for that but I want to experience what it feels to have someone who I can call mine and who would call me hers. I want to hold hands with the person who thinks I am beautiful and appreciates everything about me and I will love her dearly. I know there is no guarantee but I'd like to believe that there is someone meant for me and hopefully I will find her soon.

By: strikien

Age: 26-30 , Female

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14 responses

eaglesgymnast11

I can completely relate to your post. Couldn't have said it better myself. Being an introvert in the closet sucks. I feel that I will never find anyone unless I come out. Feel free to add/message me.

Feb 14
1 like
TheTriangleThatNeverEnds

I feel the way you do.

Jan 11
1 like
candy1155

Im a femme/girly girl so I would like to find a femme/girly girl who likes me exactly for who I am. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Sep 19, 2012
1 like
jazzME

Ah, kababayan...=)....your story is Me 2yrs ago....i know how it feels to live in fear, to hide, to envy people having relationships... and i know you heard or read it over and over again, but "it gets better"... it's true....it did for me...just don't lose hope on love...it takes a little courage you know...and by courage i mean "do it afraid"....Godbless.. =)

Sep 19, 2012
1 like
slinwaag

You go girls! Love who you want to love... more and more services come out on Internet focusing on Lesbian.such as Lesmingle。com . it's the world's first, largest and most trusted dating site for Lesbian.

Sep 14, 2012
4 likes
Sabre42

There is someone out there for you... I came out to the world in March and my friends just love me all the more for it (they knew before I did really, haha). It is so free to be honest and true to yourself. You owe to yourself to be true to what drives you. And when you are out and totally you, your eyes will be open to girls, and girls' eyes will open to you. It gets better and its worth it-

Aug 12, 2012
2 likes
midnightwave

I know that feeling. I just realize that I truly like girls like this past year, but I have never had any type relationship. And now that I know more what I am looking forward I can't wait to find that girl that is meant for me.

Mar 27, 2012
3 likes
lavenderpanther

If you truly believe that she is out there, she is!... I also had these thoughts before, but I let fear suppress me. Fear on top of fear creates entrapment. Right now I am not anywhere near where I long to be--but no situation in life is permanent. Change and growth are to be expected...

Don't worry about the future, because what you determine for yourself now is what will mold your future. If right now you are opening yourself up to love and be loved, to be out and true to yourself, that is the woman you shall be presently and in the future. And the woman you long for will come along and love you and be loved by you.

Love yourself and be happy if you truly believe these things will happen, and then you will begin to see that you are already who you desire to be and you'll attract that life into your experiences. x

Mar 24, 2012
4 likes
- strikien
  Thank you for your kind words. I know it will take a lot of courage for me to come out but I am certain that I will have that needed strength when I finally have that special someone. I wouldn't care of what others will say as long as I have her by my side. I truly believe she is somewhere out there and I am taking baby steps to find her.
  
  Mar 24, 2012
  1 like
- ET1234
  lavenderpanter,
  Thank you for this comment! Reading it really moved me and spoke to me! I read one of your stories. I hope you too don't ever give up!
  
  Mar 30, 2012
  1 like
- acinacin40
  you just found her but what did u do?willing to come out for the sake of love?ha!anyway she's wishing u happiness out there in your closet.
  
  Jan 26
  1 like
satinriver88

i can totally relate to you...dat's exactly how i feel about my life...it sucks...to be a lesbian in my country...i hate my life...your thoughts are exactly my thoughts... :(

Mar 13, 2012
3 likes
promiseme7072

I'm also a lesbian and in the closet. I've dated boys but never loved any. I feel very deeply for a female teacher of mine. I don't think it's a crush. I've had several crushes since I met her, but I always come back to her. She is not the most attractive, not the smartest, not the best I know in any way. But loving her just feels right. She's not married and is rumoured to be a lesbian as well. I think about being with her all the time. She is 40, though. I am 17. We have no business being with each other whatsoever. And I can accept that. I do feel empty, but in that emptiness I find joy in knowing that loving her has made me a better person. I learned to be altruistic, to put someone before myself, to be committed, even it's just secretly. I will be leaving this place soon to go to university, and will probably never see her again. I'm still happy I met her; if I could choose who to love, I would love her every single time.

Mar 9, 2012
6 likes
- strikien
  I know how it feels to love someone secretly. Despite her imperfections she becomes perfect in your eyes because you learn to love everything about her. You Always have your eyes on her and how you wish she only have her eyes on you. You are happy that she came to your life but you many times you would wonder why you ever met her if you cannot have her at all. And when she falls in love with someone else you will get hurt but you will still wish for her happiness.
  
  Mar 10, 2012
  1 like

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