I Live A Lie

i was raised in a hell hole at first.. but when i was placed in foster care i was put in a home that was very religious. they believed all gays were going to die and burn in hell... and i thought to myself.. but youre gay... im a lesbian. i love girls. they give me  feeling a guy never has nor will.... i look at myself in the mirror and tell myself im disgusting a disgrace. im a ***... but i have a boyfriend. and i pretend to be straight. but deep down inside im dying.. i want a girlfriend who will understand me.. and wouldnt mind me staying in the closet for a while.... ugh.my whole life is a lie..
wheresmyplace12 wheresmyplace12
18-21, F
3 Responses May 6, 2012

i hate how religion says being gay is wrong, if it is wrong they why did 'god' make us with the ability to love the same sex. in my opinion love is never wrong. you should be allowed to live your life how you want, love who you want and who gives a **** what people think. listen life is too short to be unhappy. in saying that i should take my own advice...

i totally understand.. it's so hard! you're not alone though!

I understand what you're going through. My family is disgustingly religious and they believe all gay people are going to hell too. I'm old enough now that I don't really believe everything they say but it still hurts when they talk like that. I just have to continually tell myself, there's nothing wrong with you, they don't understand, and that usually helps me get through those conversations. I also get what you're saying about staying in the closet for a little while. I'm terrified of what they'll think of me if I tell them that I'm a lesbian and plus I'm worried they'll kick me out and never talk to me again. You're not alone!