Everyone Found Out Before I Was Even Sure It's True

In my country gays and lesbians aren't really accepted. The first I fell in love with a girl was in 7th grade.I still remember the first I saw her walking in the classroom....Of course she didn't like me and it was hard but I managed forgetting her and fixing my broken heart. A month later I met another girl.The prettiest one I have ever seen.From the moment I saw her I knew I wanted to be with her.We became close friends and I finally got the courage to confess my feelings. She said she wanted to be best friends with me.Meanwhile everyone at my school started talking behind my back and telling everyone I was a lesbian.I just didn't know what to do.I am lucky my friends were always beside me but the thought of being an outsider for the rest of my life still makes me cry.I didn't want a life like this but I have it and I'm proud.I don't have a girlfriend but I'm hoping to find someone who loves me.Yes, people still talk behind my back but I'm too tired to fight the truth.The truth that I like girls ! I honestly don't know what to do know so I have decided to have a relationship with a guy.I know it may not be the best choice but I have to at least survive high school without being bullied.I can't come out to my family.They're just too old school....So now I'm a Closet Lesbian. 
wikssitu wikssitu
13-15, F
1 Response May 18, 2012

Hey, if you're not certain of you're lesbian or bi or straight, than try out a relationship with a guy. If it works out and you realize you love him, than good for you, problem solved. If it doesn't, then again - problem solved. But whatever you do, don't force yourself into relationships with members of the gender you don't like, or your life will be miserable. <br />
I have no easy answers for what to do with your family and the society you live in, except to be patient with your folks. You'll know when the time is right to tell them. Even if they don't take it well, remember that they love you, and in the end, it will probably all work out. (but I'd advise you wait until you move out on your own, just in case :p ) Best of luck!