Hurting Inside...

ok, long story short..

I've known for two years now that i'm a lesbian... no, wait, i still like boys so i guess you can call me a bi...
anyway, back to the story... i'm in high school and i have this classmate that i think i'm in love with... she's pretty, and funny, and every time we're together i feel really good. especially when she holds my hand... we're often seen with fingers interlaced... of course it's not a big deal to her because girls in our class do it all the time... we often share our problems with each other and give one another advice. the problem is...
she hates gay people. i'm not sure if that includes lesbians, but... we have this classmate in class who happens to be secretly gay, only a few of us knows. anyway, the girl i'm talking about hates him. she often says he's gross and that she hates him, and she's not afraid to show it either...
we have this good friendship going and i'm afraid that if i told her she would hate me too. i can't stand the thought of her hating me, but i can't stand the fact that she can't be mine either. it freaking hurts every time i see her with other guys and every time she talks about her crushes i try my best to smile and act like it's not affecting me even though it's tearing me inside... i have to admit, i was kinda glad when she and her boyfriend broke up, which is kinda mean considering she was a really great help when i broke up with my boyfriend...
any thoughts on what i should do?
secretsideofme secretsideofme
18-21, F
5 Responses Dec 16, 2012

It sounds like you are doing the right thing! Either she will change her ways of she really was not worth it!

yeah, i've been telling her that for sometime now. because of course, it kinda feels like she's insulting me too. i keep telling her that "they" can't help being what they are. much as i love(now i'm questioning that) i can't help getting mad at her every time i hear her speak really bad about gay people...

dont let her hate gay people.im a closeted *l-word* but if I hear people saying bad things about gay people i contend with them or i disown them as my friends...i think it is such a turn-off.she's straight and homophobic, those are the kind of people i dont like. and you should let her say what she does about gay people...it's wrong, stupid, prejudice, its disgusting and excuse my language ****** up.k....either tell her to stop saying **** about gay people or dump her.

*shouldn't*

hmm... cool.! XD
thanks.. ! ^^

Firstly you need to start standing up against prejudice. You should know right from wrong and you need to be clearly on the side of right. Just becasue you have a crush on a girl does not mean that it is suddenly ok to accept her wrong headed views. See if you can talk her round to accepting people of different sexuality as equals. You might just allow her to know that her friend (i.e. you) is not entirely straight in the process of talking her round...