Am I.. Or Am I Not? Plz Help
I feel a little weird writing this.. but at the same time i feel so releived that i found a place where i can speak my heart out and there WILL be people who understand me- well at least i hope. This is the first time that im actualli releasing all my thoughts n feelings, so i might now be making sense to u or myself! but any repsonse would be good.
Im a single girl... well ive been single for 1yr and 4 monthz now.. but ever since i broke up with my boyfriend i found myself really thinking about girls. I used to think about the whole issue wen i was way younger as well and quite honestli supportd the idea and openly told my peers that i found nothing wrong with it. I never thought that i would actually find myself seriously being a lesbian. But now i have my doubts.
Its been about a year and when i think of relationships, I alwys see myself having a steady relationship with a girl. Not that i hate guys, but i often find myself pushing them away and alwys seek attention from girls. I just want them to notice me and i want to be around them and i fantasize having intimate conversations with them. I have this attraction towards girls which i cannot control.
It's come to a point now, that im constantly imagining myself with a wonderful girl but it all comes crashing down when i think of all my friends and family. No one knows how i feel, and i dont know how to tell them. i kno i shouldnt be embarrassed.. but yet i feel ashamed. I feel jugded. What do i do? I dont kno if this is just a phase that im goin through.. but even if it is.. its a serious one. And i kno it is.. because i feel more strongly for girls than for guys. I want to experience having a girlfriend.. but i cant get around to doing it because im scared of it being publicized just yet.
I can say lots more.. bt im gnna stop just here for now. I hope someone responds bak.. and then i will take it further.