At Least I Can Be Proud Here, Where No One Knows Me.

Isn't that sad? That we have to live in a worl where the only place we can be ourselves is when we are anonymous. I mean, of course Rose Donovan is not my real name. It is the name of one of my fictional characters. I could not out my real name on here for fear someone I knew would come along, and find out things about me that they would tease me and hate me for. Isn't that sad? The kind of world we live in, where people live in fear every day of how much longer they will be able to keep their secrets? Don't you with you could be more open with the people who know you?

That is why I love this place, because I finally have people I can talk to. this is what I've always wanted . . . to be accepted even with my differences. I love it that I can say my deepest, darkest secrets here, and people still talk to me, in fact, they talk to me BECAUSE I have spilled my deepest, darkest secrets.


It will be years before I will be able to tell this one to anyone I know. I want to be out on my own, supporting myself, with tons of friends, before I spill this, and come out of the closet, because I don't want to find myself homeless and friendless when I'm barely even 17. 

LonelySoul LonelySoul
18-21, F
71 Responses Jul 18, 2007

Washington is a quite accepting community when it come to the LGBT community. just thought I'd put that out there.

Im married with a baby on the way. He knew i was gay when he married me. I married him because i was scared of who i was and hes a lovely person that i care deeply for, and i wanted a child. Now all i can think of is being in the arms of a woman and being with a woman, i need that intimacy and i cant share it with my husband..

you can do it :)

Don't be lonely or afraid. When you are old enough you will meet women to share relationships and friendships.
Meanwhile, come and celebrate lesbians at my site
It is full of great lesbian topics. Meanwhile, good luck and be happy and brave

Hello beautiful. Go to my site. Let me love you. Willomeana

I don't think you should keep it in that long.. im 17 and i came out when i was 12, its hard tahats for sure but i didnt lose that many friends and my parents are still there for you. Message me and ill talk to you more about it because i understand what youre going through completely. :)

I totally agree with you.. :-( I Broke up with my 7 years boyfriend cause I can`t take it anymore. I can`t tell him of the real reason, I`m a lesbian.. same way that i can't tell to the girl i really admire that I like her more than a friend. So what I did is dating girls that doesn't know me., tired of hiding. It`s ridiculous, right?

Im a femme/girly girl so I would like to find a femme/girly girl who likes me exactly for who I am. I look forward to hearing from you!


A site for girls and their admire.


You go girls! Love who you want to love... more and more services come out on Internet focusing on Lesbian.such as Lesmingle。com . it's the world's first, largest and most trusted dating site for Lesbian.

Im a Lesbian, But no one knows :( Im also married and have 3 kids... Really having a hard time right now cause I really want to be who I really am but am scared and don't wanna hurt my husband. :(

ladypride3. i too am married to a man with a child. i know its hard im so sorry for anyone having to go through this like we are. but remember their are people that understand darlin. =)

I also am married to a man with children.. the loneliness I feel is no way to spend your life. I love being able to come out and say what I really feel on here, but really wish it didn't have to only be here. I recently came out to 2 of my most trusted friends. Some day I will be able to share my love with an amazing woman. Until then, I will keep my head up high. <3 all of you brave women out there who are feeling this way too.

I know what you mean. I always find an excuse for why I have been single. I am very careful not to look to long at other women. Its so frustrating hearing people that you work with and close friends, and family members saying this about gay people. Only one close friend knows. I hear them say some hateful things. I wonder what would happen if they knew, but I'm not ready to find out. I dont want to be uncomfortable, or lose friends I only have a few and I dont want to be the topic of conversation when I go to work. A part of me says its no ones business, but it would be different I know it, and I dont want to make new friends I like my friends. It just sucks.

I'm not quite a lesbo unless who i dealt with is just super clean then maybe just maybe i will dive in lol.<br />
<br />
I put up a post about breast feeding thinking about putting it down.My hubby might looked through it would be kind of embarrassing.<br />
<br />
I feel relaxed here yes i agree with you on that,but at the same time i want to becareful what i say as well. Hubby might look around and check on me.He is a very jealous guy.I don't want him to find out about anything when it comes to freaky stuff lol.He knows about what i want,but what he did not know is what i did ,so I don't want to suffer even more just because of it.

It is sad. That we cannot accept people for their differences .<br />
Not that lesbianism is different but just another part of the rich tapestry of humankind. The differences that make life and living interesting. <br />
It is good you can come here and feel free. Feels accepted.

It is fortunate that we have this thing called the internet enables use to share our secrets anonymously. I imagine that two decades ago, it was hard for people to let out some of the feelings inside. It is funny because people tend to act differently when they're alone. Maybe it is because of no pressure to be someone else.<br />
<br />
In your 17, the world seems scary, people surround you seems opinionated. It will still be on your 26. But, you will change too. You can be a stronger person that no longer think too much of what others think, but rather live your own life to the fullest. Up to this day, I still have to remind myself that I can't please everyone. You know Katherine Hepburn said that if you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.<br />
Be patient, your time will come. Best of wishes.

i think you should go all out and tell your friends what you are . Im bisexual i came out the closet when i was 14! my sisters told me it was normal until they saw me kissing a girl then they slapped me ..... i felt horrible i talked myself down because i knew (only because my family said it was was a sin)that is was wrong. But i was in love with this girl and my happiness mattered more than anyone else's believes. At school teachers looked at me wrong because i wore rainbow cloths and even wore mens clothes to attract more females. But i went strong ! i told my friends and they were surprised at first but then they would play around with me saying do you think shes cute ? how about her ! lol i love my friends! and i think if you come out and say what you are who ever accepts you will mean that they are real. keep your head high !

I totally get you - as a person who did not come until her 40's and now in my 50's I still feel as if I do not fit in with society. Was just at a social event in my community and NO ONE sat next to my partner and I. This is the 2nd time this has happened to us. We have friends in many places except where we live. I want you to know I am here for you anytime you need to talk or chat about it with an adult female. You are NOT alone at all. Good luck - you sound wise above your years.

I can understand totally! My first sexial contact with a female was in jr high. It felt so unreal I just allowed my self to believe we were just practicing for our boyfriends. I have never forgotten that feeling. I can never really tell anyone close to me how I truly feel cause I know they wouldnt ever understand.

every one feels this a some point and time even if it isnt about being les or bi and this site should change that

It is very sad that you can't be open about your sexuality. I have several friends who are lesbians and they are quite surprised that although I am something of an 'old fart' I have a very accepting attitude. The way I see it is, it is not my place to comment on another persons sexuality, I just accept people for who they are and yes, I have gay friends too, though, surprisingly not as many, they know I am straight and as a couple of them have said, I'm not their type, a fact of which I am grateful, lol. So be who you are, I know it's difficult, but you will always have someone to talk to, in me, x

I feel exactly like you. I am so sad, I have 'come out' to my parents and my husband. My hubby loves me and has stood by me, I suppose I am bi although we do not have any physical love, he does not mind me having a girl friend and will even make time at home for me to have a friend home for love. I have not come out at work, again I have a wonderful boss, he's a good ten years younger than me but we share so many things, most notable is that he is a cross-dresser, completely out to everybody. In that sense I am able to confide in him and we are like sisters more than employees.

We used to keep the fact that were lesbians to ourselves. Whose business is it anyway? But as we became more comfortable with ourselves, with our love, it became less and less important. Even today we do not announce the fact that we love each other, but anyone with common sense can figure it out. We do not see a straight couple going around telling the world that they are married. We feel that as long as we respect the way others live, others should respect how we live.<br />
Lesbians have along way to go as far as being treated as a equal in the real world. I feel as long as we love ourselves and be a positive part in our commmunity the world has accept us for what we are.

Just because you are a lesibian,I will not think less of you at all.Myself,I am a guy who loved woman and I always will.Still,I look at you as a friend regardless what you are like.I have a few friends that are like you.I never look down at them at all.We are all human,but with some differances in all of our lives.<br />
If you do need someone to talk with,I will talk with you if you like.I will never turn you away at all.

I just found this site and I already love it. You're right. I can be myself here just as you without being afraid. I will come out to everybody the moment I don't have gym anymore. Idk, I just don't want it to be akward every single time we have to change. But my best friend knows and I'm planning on telling my parents soon, I know they will love me all the same. (thet work at the pupil guidance center, so they deal with gay students all the time.)

I can identify in that you want to have stability before coming out. I was accepted as "lesbian" for the most part but knew not many (within my circle) would accept me as a transguy. I allowed people to believe I was a homosexual female for a bit but once I transferred to a liberal college, I'm fully out. Out at school, to those around me and at work. <br />
<br />
Once you're able to be out, it'll be GREAT, for the most part anyway. It's liberating to be able to fully be yourself.

I am not gay nor Bi but i was in a majority white school all my life and use to look like the nerdiest kid ever. Being picked on and beat up every day. being tortured and called the ****** Nerd. So I can understand up to a point the feeling of being safe now, but I am 19 now and far away from high school. Life gets better, dare to be different. I am now, I keep a small circle of friends and they are with me till the end and we are all night and day but we respect each other. When you find your team of friends that you can trust with your life with that secret they evolve to family, and trust me that is one hell of a good feeling.

hey you know what we have the same situation. im living in a conservative country where people find it hard to accept the third sex and I cant come out specially to my family coz they will never accept me i knew it.

I feel exactly the same. Only once I have my own money, career and lots and lots of friends will comme out. That way I won't need to rely on family for money if they disown me and out of those tons of friends someone will stick around....right.

Shame on us humans having to justify who we are and adopting laws for 2 people to unite. We are out way ****** up. Worse gender on earth I say we are

Sweetheart, Have courage! It is not easy! You are not so different than me and the struggles that I went through my entire life so far! You will be OK! This is part of one of my stories on my profile!<br />
And I hope it helps!<br />
<br />
I pray that these following words will give you some type of encouragement!<br />
<br />
<br />
There is a Native American saying: “Do not judge anyone until you have walked two moons in their moccasins”<br />
<br />
I am woman, and I am man. I’m every color, every belief, and every size. I am old, young, and everything in between. I have been here longer than you and not as long as you. I am a son. I am a daughter. I am married and single, a parent and without children. I am alone and surrounded by people I care about deeply.<br />
<br />
And as of this moment! It has been proven that I am some sort of genetic mistake by the medical world! Just take one moment to close your eyes and picture that I could be true that a person could be born wrong! Think about how horrid and painful that would be! To be incarcerated for ever!<br />
<br />
Like you, I am a human being filled with joys, fears, frustrations, and hopes and dreams. I feel, I laugh, and yes, I occasionally hurt! And like you I want to be understood and accepted, and appreciated. The following is about opening up to you----about sharing my feeling on just a few of the many aspects of my life and how they affect me. Perhaps you will to see me in a new and perhaps a much different light<br />
<br />
I wish that you receive this with the same level of compassion and understanding that you wish from me. Chances are we’re not as different as you may think. Hear me, understand me and at least walk one moon in my moccasins! <br />
<br />
Like you I have comfort zones that give me peace and a sense of stability. And just like you, my cage gets rattled when I have to change my habits by doing new and different things. You’re not the only one who is afraid of the unknown. But I do know that we have to adapt, grow and keep moving forward.<br />
<br />
But, I know you can’t please everyone, someone is going to be chapped. That’s a reality and I accept that. But there is another reality that comes with being human. I care what you and others think about me. I especially care what you think about me when it comes to honesty, integrity and fairness. You always hear stories about me and without facts and form an opinion about me. I can’t defend myself and the facts are usually skewed. I fully understand that I must earn your trust and respect just as you must earn mine. And I am working on that. Maybe you could give me the same benefit of the doubt that you would wish from me. Before you judge me walk awhile in my shoes. The only thing worse than losing, is being denied the chance to win. <br />
<br />
And remember the saying by Louis Nizer! “When you point your finger at me, remember that three of your fingers are pointing back at you!<br />
<br />
I used to think a lot about the future. But now I just worry about getting through today alive and in one piece, figuring I would focus on crossing tomorrow’s bridges.<br />
<br />
Do I have all the answers? No. In fact I have more questions than answers. I am so exhausted from thoughts of suicide, self-loathing and extreme isolation. I am a child of Diversity and I was born this way! The past is gone! The future is all that’s left.<br />
<br />
This is what I ask of you! Appreciate the fact that my life is no easier that yours. I’ve got a tough life too. Don’t assume the worst of me. I don’t wake up in the morning asking “How can I make <br />
life miserable for someone today” I think neither do you. Talk to me instead of talking to others. With more understanding, we can meet in the middle and walk the rest of the way together.<br />
<br />
The best mind altering drug is the truth!<br />
<br />
So many of us have suffered the loss of family in becoming <br />
the human beings we were meant to be.<br />
<br />
There were so many times when I hesitated and questioned the cost of transition, not only the financial burden but the true cost I would pay in losing so much of my former life.<br />
<br />
Because others simply cannot accept that their reality isn't necessarily my reality. And that it is my reality, and not theirs, in which each of us must live in order to survive.<br />
<br />
I have astruggled to exist in the Lie because I was born with an identity that did not match my body. I have gone to extreme measures to help others love me by striving desperately <br />
to live their expectations for, and of me. I have even managed to live out nearly my entire life existing on the edge of sanity for the sake of acceptance and what passes for love in our society.<br />
<br />
I don't have that kind of strength anymore and I discovered that I didn't need "that kind" of love, nor do I want to love anyone else so much that I am willing to sacrifice my sanity and eventually my life simply because they couldn't accept me for who I am.<br />
<br />
So I will quit questioning the cost of transition because I decided that, what I am really "buying" is my own life. <br />
<br />
There's a quote I like from a movie character that has often been satirized in the media, .the movie was Shawshank Redemption, the character was Red (played by Morgan Freeman) and the quote is simply this ".Get busy living or get busy dying." <br />
<br />
I spent most of my life trying to sit on the fence in between the two and what's funny about that, is that there isn't any there! There is life and there is death and nothing in between the two. And the choice is mine to make. There is no pain in death it’s one of the reasons so many of us look to make it our choice.<br />
<br />
There is no love, no anger, no fear, no humiliation, no rejection, no hate, no depression, no loneliness, the list goes on for what there "isn't" in death and it's a very long list because it incorporates everything in life...everything. <br />
<br />
We have all made that choice and sometimes we struggle but we're here, and that means our realities exist, and are just as valid as those of the people who would deny me for the sake of their own comfort.<br />
<br />
I need not ever face this kind of battle again alone and isolated, nor do I need doubt that finding my true self and living as I choose to present myself, and feel it is ever wrong, it isn't.<br />
<br />
For those who find they cannot live with me as I am, then let them live without Me and in time they will discover the loss and feel the emptiness left where My love used to be<br />
<br />
It's a void that cannot be filled by righteous indignation, self-serving feelings of betrayal, or immature embarrassment at the life-celebrating actions of another.<br />
<br />
It's a void that will last a lifetime and be felt by the generations who follows and inherits the actions of their parents<br />
<br />
And it is to them that I must show the most patience and love because it is through no fault of their own that they were born in an age of intolerance and self-serving egocentrism.<br />
<br />
I will look to the future when my grandchildren have grown up hearing about this mystery person, maybe half remembered, which became someone else and was shunned for doing so. I promise when they become young adults (teenagers off to college etc.) that they will want to contact me because, if nothing else, the curiosity will drive them crazy. It's then that they will come to know me as I would like them to know me, and not as those around them may have portrayed me. <br />
<br />
I feel I am a wonderful, courageous, and loving person! So I smile, knowing that I am here and that I care. I will make this my motto: Noli nothis permittere te terere! (Don't let the bastards get <br />
me down).<br />
<br />
Thank you at least for reading this!<br />
<br />
I am Jamie Lee! She is me and I am her! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Jamie Lee<br />
<br />

U know what i don't jugde u or offend u but did u know that u are not here by mistake or u are not mistaken.God made u 4 a perpose.he made u a girl 2 be a girl not 2 fall inlove with your same cruel you are 2 assult God.u should b ashamed.just go n leave 2 a world where by u do your thing well

So sorry you have to go through this my daughter is lesbian well two daughters are is a stud the other is a fem..... i love them with all my heart ....and never have i judge them i love their partners as if they was my own whole family is very day you will find your way you will not always be under your parents roof you will have your own life it the way that makes you happy as long as your not harming anyone else physically

I am a closeted bi sexual who has had loving relations with men but much prefere straight looking women like myself (53) Anyone ou there?

i know how you feel, im 17 too though i am out of the closet, i started roleplaying in games for the same reason stated above, my first character was a cross dressing overly flirtatious slightly camp out right gay man. theres nothing you ca do to change people though if your family and friends dont accept you then they aren't really your family or friends, my true family are the ones who have supported me no matter, they may only exist from the time they log on till the time thy log off and may be completely different in real life but thats the joy of the internet, you can be free here, be who you want to be not who you have to be.

I really like this site too. I 'm proud to say that I am a bisexual female. I'm just too scared to say it out loud to my family and friends. My family is really anti gay and I don't know what they will think. Only my closest friends know about it. My dad once threatened to disown me if he found out I was. So I lied and told him I wasn't. I one day plan to out myself to my family and friends. I'm just to scared too right now. I'm really glad I found this site. It's nice to know someone cares and other people are going through what I'm going through.

Ok I am straight but I respect you being gay.One of my daughters best friends is gay we knew she was gay at school if people are going to accept they will if not too bad as that should not affect your relationship with them I hope you come out of the closet soon as you will feel much better in the end

I am not a lesbian, but I don't think you should be afraid of what people think. You are a amazing person and should not feel bad about who you are. And I agree with kuroshinigami, age and gender doesn't matter! I am in love with a man 16 years my senior and I am so happy :) I get talked down on for being with him, but what they say does not change what I think about him. Don't listen to the negative comments, those people are jealous because you are awesome :D

I truly feel your discomfort at the type of world and experiences that create this feeling of being alone. I am glad that you have been able to find at least a small outlet for your true self. While I haven't experienced the same pain due to your situation, I have experienced the pain of not being true to myself. By embracing my own truth, not without concern for other people's feelings, but with more concern for my own, I have at last found peace with myself and all my little details. Also I was quite relieved to find that my perceived difficulties were just that, perceived only by me. There is no relief to be found by denying your self. Embrace yourself and you will find that others will embrace you as well. The only limitations that there are in this world are the ones that we impose on ourselves due to what we "think" will happen by being true to ourselves. Even at your age, you could become the guiding light for others to follow. I know that this may seem like a big deal and too much responsibility but you are much stronger than you have yet realized. I believe in you and countless others do as well. Be true to yourself and your heart for you are the only one that needs to believe in you. Have faith that life isn't all that it seems to be and that there are wonderful things waiting in store for you. You know how to rise above this challenge but you may have forgotten. Meditation is more than just a way to relax. Trust that you have all the answers locked inside and get quiet and still. Breathe. Trust. Listen. If you really give this a shot, with an open mind and receptive heart, I promise that you will find your solution. Know that you are loved. Take care of yourself because you deserve true happiness for you are wonderful beyond words.

I totally agree with you, and i have to say you've inspired me a lot . I'm 19, and I know i'm too far from coming out, cause, like you, I wanna come out when I'm independent, and strong enough to face all kinds of people. Also, I don't know how my parents would react, they might cut me off and I end up leaving college, having nowhere to live, and no one to talk to. My best friend finds it totally normal to be gay, because people are too different. the main concept of our creation is diversity so there's no way we'll all like the same thing. difference is there, and it is good :) But, I still find it so hard to tell him. It's easier for me to talk about gay people, and support them.. and defend them whenever i hear someone insulting them.. than admit that i'm gay myself. It's not like I'm ashamed, on the contrary, I'm actually proud, and I like it. But, i guess it's the fear of peoples' reactions.. because i've always been raised that this thing is wrong.. even worse.. that it doesn't exist. <br />
The time will come, when we come out, and we'll find out who our true people are. till then, I wish you all the best. <br />

for me its basically the same im scared to death to even THINK about telling my parents its even. ive told like four people that im bisextua. all of them i felt comfortable with and even one ofthem is giong through almost the same thing just pls someone help me feel comfortable with who i really am pls....

I have recently started a project that will allow closeted LGBT from all walks of life to anonymously share their story. I'm calling this endeavor Project: OUT (feel free to checkout the Facebook page). <br />
<br />
I'm asking people to handwrite and create their anonymous coming out letters. They can be a one-liner postcard, a picture, a drawing, anything you want really. You just can't sign your name to it. I want people to have the right to speak their mind without fear. <br />
<br />
I'd love to eventually gain enough material to bind into a book, to show the world that even from the shadows we have a powerful voice. <br />
<br />
Please participate and mail your letters, stories, and art to:<br />
<br />
Project: OUT<br />
PO Box 10<br />
Frederick, MD 21705

I'm newly "out" myself but only to a select few people. One of the saddest things in my life is at my age (nearly 33) I can't out myself to my dad. I know what he's like and I think he would disown me. Apart from my son, he is the only man I have any love for in this world. To lose him would be unbearable, so I stay in the closet as much as I can. I also have school-aged children and my coming out with pride would affect them as well. I do know how hard it is to come out because I'm still trying myself. I hear you about only sharing your true self online... it seems like a lot of us are turning to the internet and total strangers for the support we feel we can't have in our real families/friends' circles. Sad isn't it? Hugs to you, dear, I hope you find peace and acceptance too.

''At Least I Can Be Proud Here, Where No One Knows Me.''<br />
D'ont think that, your real image come from the way you behave and act. You are what you think, so the way you re act , i can easily have an image of you. Real image is not by looking your picture, your behaviour is your real image.

It ain't nobody's business what your sexuality is, nor do you need anyone's approval to be yourself. We all have a right to be here on planet earth. Life ain't just for the straits of society. The people who mind your sexuality don't matter and the people who don't mind your sexuality do matter. Sometimes we all do well to prune the dead wood out of our rose bushes.<br />
More luck and love to you dear, be yourself for yourself and enjoy who you are right now.<br />
<br />
Best wishes and season's greetings,<br />
<br />

Hi, if you were my daughter I would love you. It's not bad; it's who you are. We live in a country with radical hatemongers, the religious right aka Conservative Christians. They are a cancer spreading hate and fear against all of us who are different than they are. In the name of a blonde-haired, blue-eyes Jesus they spread hatred. Don't worry, you are not alone, and people -- normal people -- will love you no matter what. Take care, you have famly and friends. Rachel Maddow should be an inspiration as well as Ellen Degenres.

You are absolutely right. It's sad that we have to remain anonymous on this site, because people that we know can be so judgemental. But it's nice to have a place to be ourselves, to share our experiences with other people and read theirs. Thanks experience project, this is a brilliant site.

I have the exact same ambition. I wanna be independent first. I wanna be strong enough, with lots and lots of friends that i know atleast some of them would accept me when i come out of the closet.

you know people should try understand and accept people for who they are, am sorry that you don't even feel free to be who you are just because of other people but lets hope they will soon change

Hello...<br />
First, let me commend you for the steps forward you have already taken. The fact that you sought out a place like EP where you could divulge and share the secrets that elsewhere you would be ridiculed, or hated for, already speaks volumes to your courage and faith. <br />
<br />
You are 100% correct in that this is not the way it should be and others like you, and I, are individually and in groups, moving towards bringing about change and awareness, but society, as a whole, is a slow learner.<br />
Second, as others have already mentioned, be true to you. You do not want to reach the end of your life having lived it as others wish, or want you to. That would be truly a sad end. Live life true to who you are, and when you are ready...let that real you shine through. let it bless the world with its presence and find a way to help others. <br />
Sadly, one truth stands true. I am much older than you, and am a gay male and a closet crossdresser. I am not out at work, or to most of my family. I do belong to groups and have a circle of friends that support and accept me. I have a career and good paying job and have been out on my own for years. Achieving those things, as you mentioned in your story, does not make it easier. It does allow you to keep from relying on family for support, food and a roof above your head so that you do not find yourself homeless, but that aside, <br />
psychologically and emotionally, it does not get easier. Be ready for that and let your support circle, friends and acquaintances that know you and love you, help you through it.<br />
<br />
I wish you the best of luck, hang on to your real life and online friends and keep moving forward, when the time comes that you can step our and will be ready.<br />
God Bless.....Hugzzz......Jaimee

I find it sad that parents can be so judgmental of their kids. Your supposed to love your children no matter what. My parents were like that. They told my brother and I that if we were homosexuals that we could tell them. They told us that we wouldn't have to be afraid of telling them that we were attracted to the same sex. It sickens me that there are parents out there who would be willing to lose all contact with their offspring just because of who they sleep with.

It is a very sad world that so many people make fun of others for one reason or another. Are they jealious? Are they frightened? Or something else. I think they forget that they are also picked on by others. 'Let he who has no sin cast the first stone'

I am straight and I accept you. Love yourself and when the time comes, you will know. It's sad that the world is not filled with more love and kindness for each other, which, in the end, is the most important thing.

Isn't love different to lust and sex, and doesn't true love need anything at all than love itself? Does one not find true love in a steady relationship, and doesn't one have to work at that almost constantly? Perhaps I'm just a stick in the mud, but I did wait around for the right person to come along and despite the problems that we've encountered we still love each other.

I understand your feeling of isolation and pain in having to hide who you are. i am happy that you found comfort and friendship here on EP like I have. <br />
<br />
I all I can offer is for you to be happy and proud of who you are inside. I am certain you will find someone to share your life and love with. But work on not being so isolated you miss an opportunity to connect with other m or f in real life. I have both gay and lesbians that I consider my friends and do things socially with even though I am straight married guy. Feel free to add me as a friend and PM message me if you like. I am sure you have lots of friends now to share your life with.<br />
<br />
You have a rich life head of you, experience it all!

I love this site and I only just joined today. But I really like the idea of it and I'm glad I ran in to it. <br />
<br />
However, I wanted to say that I think the reason it's come down to anonymous forums and sites is because the world is getting smaller everyday. The internet brings everyone together and everything is stored forever. In order to get away from the world where everyone knows everything about everyone (facebook anyone?) you need to find a safe haven away from all the explicit communication. <br />
<br />
I personally like anonymity in an environment like this, because people just connect to the person for who they are, not what they look like or what their social status is.

Youg Lady,<br />
You need to be proud of yourself. That's all that matters.

didimarjeta knows what she is talking about. I was where you were 2 years ago. In a school where if I'd have come out as a lesbian I'd have been rejected and hurt. <br />
<br />
I left eventually after doing my time, locked in my invisable closet, then came out when I got to college. I was terrifed of coming out for the 1st month, but i knew I had to. It's what I needed. :D<br />
<br />
Now I'm open with my friends, I havent lost them. I hope you find what I did. <br />
<br />
<br />

I'm straight but seem to attract gay/bi friends of both genders so I've had people come out to me a lot. <br />
<br />
Just to give to view from the other side of it - <br />
The only time I ever was freaked out was when my one friend told me while I was getting dressed in front of her. I also flashed back to each and everytime I was naked or not completely dressed in front of her. Fortunately, while I was trying very hard not to deck her she managed to get out that it wasn't like that and she had a girlfriend :)<br />
That was about 15 years ago and my first experience with it. Most of my friends see me in various not sexual (to me) states of undress and every time they come out I still get that aww crap thing so immediate reassurance that you don't see them in a sexual light is very appreciated.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry you're in a place where your friends and family would denounce you for something you don't control.<br />
Not everybody will judge you for it.<br />
I don't.

This is sooo sad,<br />
I have just recenly came out to my close set of friends....<br />
About 15 of us..<br />
3 of them didnt like it, But two of them continued to talk to me and hang out because they said they loved me before, And im no different, They said they dont understand it, But will try and accept it, And im grateful as they were very homophobic before, But are changing for the better.<br />
The other girl jade...Didnt take it well, Straight away told everyone at school and i was outed by lunch.<br />
I dont think i was ready for the whole school to find out, But whats done is done.<br />
Most people are ok with it, Some are mean, Make rude comments, Start physical fights with me.<br />
And i was expecting this, I just wasnt ready for it to happen yet...But i was very ready to come out....It makes no sence i know, But thats just my crazy 15 year old mind confusing herself,lol<br />
My family CANT know, They will kick me out before i could say please.<br />
Im lucky in a way as others dont have close ones who they can trust enough to confide in like yourself,<br />
But am constantly paraniod that i will get caught out by my family.<br />
<br />
If ya ever wana talk or summin, Hit me up<br />
Love shannon<br />

It's so sad that you have to hide, in the place and time you're in now. But it sounds like you yourself are comfortable and even proud of your sexuality, which is brilliant and amazing and fantastic. Many in your position might feel that they had learnt something too soon, or accept the opinions of others as truth. I'm glad and a little awed that you are able to know yourself with such confidence. I applaud you.

My friend, i am sure your family won't have any problems with you being gay, my aunt came out a few years back, and we love her to death and nothing will change it, just let them know when you are ready.

Don't worry girl, this will pass. I can't tell you about coming out because I'm that's never been my case, but there is a lot of people struggling now so perhaps your children don't have to go through this. <br />
I know it must be hard to have to hide who you really are. I saw that struggle in a friend of mine, and I saw his frustration for years. Then he left for college, came out and he is a successful brilliant young man. And a fairly happy one.<br />
If it is any consolation, remember this is not the worst point in history to have been born a gay person. That thought helped my friend, it reminded him it was just a matter of time to be free. He said if he head been born 25 years earlier coming out would have never been a choice ever. <br />
<br />
Things will get better for you :o) good luck

Age and gender doesn't, or shouldn't matter when it comes to loving someone. That is my opinion, and in my opinion, sexual orientations are somewhat silly. I understand them but I don't choose them. I haven't told anyone this because then people will question my orientation, and I don't have an answer yet. <br />
As for coming out of the closet, I understand your fear of not being accepted, but when you do come out you will see who your true friends are. If they can't be your friends because you're gay, then they aren't your friends at all. And even if you loose some friends, you'll gain many more. Take your time to think this through, but be careful not to hide it for to long or it will hurt you more than not being accepted ever would have. When you do come out, do it with pride and confidence.<br />
<br />
Good luck.<br />
<br />
Kuro Shinigami

As one who has stood where you are, about 10 years ago, I can only reach out and give you a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. <br />
<br />
So many of the other commenters have it right: be true to yourself. Shakespeare said it so well in Hamlet: <br />
<br />
"This above all: to thine own self be true,<br />
And it must follow, as the night the day,<br />
Thou canst not then be false to any man."<br />
<br />
Kisses<br />
<br />

I find it really a sad thing that in today's world the only way many people can "be themselves" is to be anonymous on the internet. <br />
<br />
Half the time you can't even get a good meaningful conversation going with your friends and family today. You have to go to the net to be heard and to really talk.<br />
<br />
It's sad that the world's coming to this.<br />
<br />
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I hope it all works out ok in the end.

Hi! You may find this interesting. <br />
<br />
Please pass this on too... it can be helpful to someone <br />
<br /> <br /> <br />
<br />
Figuring IT Out by NSB - A Coming Out Story. <br />
<br />
This books has been rated with 4.6 out of 5 in Amazon. <br />
com <br />
This book will help your friends know that they are not alone; that they are not different; that what they are feeling is normal... <br />
<br />
From the author herself: <br />
"I started this project to share my experience with the hope that it will make others feel less alone and more understood, and to inspire empathy in those who have not had the experience themselves." -- NSB

i feel the same,..:] i know I was never been myself, ever. Until now. Too scared to come out eyt? me too..I'm also barely 17..I'm afraid of rejection... I'm too afraid to lose..everyone. :(

you will know when it's time to tell but try not to do it in anger that would hurt more people than you think good luck in your young life xx

You will know when it is your time to come out, just dont let your self suffer out of fear that you wont be accepted, because you will be.

Something I have learned is that you have to do what makes you happy because nobody else will. It's sad I know but it's the truth. You are the only one who has to live your life so make sure it's a great one!!

i also love this site!! i think it encourage many people to live their life, and to know that we are not alone, that many people suffer the same as us!! Im proud of saying that im bisexual here in this site =)

I agree with everything that you said. And, like Diana said, it is good to wait for a good timing. I hvaen't told any of my friends that I'm bisexual... they would automatically reject me... I hear them make fun of others who are bi... I worked hard to gain some few friendships.. But, thats why I love this site! Like you said, you can be open and people still talk to you. You get a feeling of being wanted here.. You'll know the right time to come out, and you'll be happy when you do. Take care!