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At Least I Can Be Proud Here, Where No One Knows Me.

Isn't that sad? That we have to live in a worl where the only place we can be ourselves is when we are anonymous. I mean, of course Rose Donovan is not my real name. It is the name of one of my fictional characters. I could not out my real name on here for fear someone I knew would come along, and find out things about me that they would tease me and hate me for. Isn't that sad? The kind of world we live in, where people live in fear every day of how much longer they will be able to keep their secrets? Don't you with you could be more open with the people who know you?

That is why I love this place, because I finally have people I can talk to. this is what I've always wanted . . . to be accepted even with my differences. I love it that I can say my deepest, darkest secrets here, and people still talk to me, in fact, they talk to me BECAUSE I have spilled my deepest, darkest secrets.

 

It will be years before I will be able to tell this one to anyone I know. I want to be out on my own, supporting myself, with tons of friends, before I spill this, and come out of the closet, because I don't want to find myself homeless and friendless when I'm barely even 17. 

LonelySoul LonelySoul 18-21, F 75 Responses Jul 18, 2007

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Washington is a quite accepting community when it come to the LGBT community. just thought I'd put that out there.

Im married with a baby on the way. He knew i was gay when he married me. I married him because i was scared of who i was and hes a lovely person that i care deeply for, and i wanted a child. Now all i can think of is being in the arms of a woman and being with a woman, i need that intimacy and i cant share it with my husband..

you can do it :)

Don't be lonely or afraid. When you are old enough you will meet women to share relationships and friendships.
Meanwhile, come and celebrate lesbians at my site
http://stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com
It is full of great lesbian topics. Meanwhile, good luck and be happy and brave

Hello beautiful. Go to my site. Let me love you. Willomeana

I don't think you should keep it in that long.. im 17 and i came out when i was 12, its hard tahats for sure but i didnt lose that many friends and my parents are still there for you. Message me and ill talk to you more about it because i understand what youre going through completely. :)

I totally agree with you.. :-( I Broke up with my 7 years boyfriend cause I can`t take it anymore. I can`t tell him of the real reason, I`m a lesbian.. same way that i can't tell to the girl i really admire that I like her more than a friend. So what I did is dating girls that doesn't know me., tired of hiding. It`s ridiculous, right?

Im a femme/girly girl so I would like to find a femme/girly girl who likes me exactly for who I am. I look forward to hearing from you!

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Im a Lesbian, But no one knows :( Im also married and have 3 kids... Really having a hard time right now cause I really want to be who I really am but am scared and don't wanna hurt my husband. :(

ladypride3. i too am married to a man with a child. i know its hard im so sorry for anyone having to go through this like we are. but remember their are people that understand darlin. =)

I also am married to a man with children.. the loneliness I feel is no way to spend your life. I love being able to come out and say what I really feel on here, but really wish it didn't have to only be here. I recently came out to 2 of my most trusted friends. Some day I will be able to share my love with an amazing woman. Until then, I will keep my head up high. <3 all of you brave women out there who are feeling this way too.

I know what you mean. I always find an excuse for why I have been single. I am very careful not to look to long at other women. Its so frustrating hearing people that you work with and close friends, and family members saying this about gay people. Only one close friend knows. I hear them say some hateful things. I wonder what would happen if they knew, but I'm not ready to find out. I dont want to be uncomfortable, or lose friends I only have a few and I dont want to be the topic of conversation when I go to work. A part of me says its no ones business, but it would be different I know it, and I dont want to make new friends I like my friends. It just sucks.

I'm not quite a lesbo unless who i dealt with is just super clean then maybe just maybe i will dive in lol.<br />
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I put up a post about breast feeding thinking about putting it down.My hubby might looked through it would be kind of embarrassing.<br />
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I feel relaxed here yes i agree with you on that,but at the same time i want to becareful what i say as well. Hubby might look around and check on me.He is a very jealous guy.I don't want him to find out about anything when it comes to freaky stuff lol.He knows about what i want,but what he did not know is what i did ,so I don't want to suffer even more just because of it.

It is sad. That we cannot accept people for their differences .<br />
Not that lesbianism is different but just another part of the rich tapestry of humankind. The differences that make life and living interesting. <br />
It is good you can come here and feel free. Feels accepted.

It is fortunate that we have this thing called the internet enables use to share our secrets anonymously. I imagine that two decades ago, it was hard for people to let out some of the feelings inside. It is funny because people tend to act differently when they're alone. Maybe it is because of no pressure to be someone else.<br />
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In your 17, the world seems scary, people surround you seems opinionated. It will still be on your 26. But, you will change too. You can be a stronger person that no longer think too much of what others think, but rather live your own life to the fullest. Up to this day, I still have to remind myself that I can't please everyone. You know Katherine Hepburn said that if you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.<br />
Be patient, your time will come. Best of wishes.

This story really strikes a chord. I am struggling with acceptance in a different way at my work as a trans woman and can relate to your fears. The funny thing is there is an amazingly popular lesbian at my work who has made my coming out easier. She is unbelievable confident and everyone loves her. I have found a kind of support here that I cannot find in real life. The support in real life feels different, but it is there.

i think you should go all out and tell your friends what you are . Im bisexual i came out the closet when i was 14! my sisters told me it was normal until they saw me kissing a girl then they slapped me ..... i felt horrible i talked myself down because i knew (only because my family said it was was a sin)that is was wrong. But i was in love with this girl and my happiness mattered more than anyone else's believes. At school teachers looked at me wrong because i wore rainbow cloths and even wore mens clothes to attract more females. But i went strong ! i told my friends and they were surprised at first but then they would play around with me saying do you think shes cute ? how about her ! lol i love my friends! and i think if you come out and say what you are who ever accepts you will mean that they are real. keep your head high !

I totally get you - as a person who did not come until her 40's and now in my 50's I still feel as if I do not fit in with society. Was just at a social event in my community and NO ONE sat next to my partner and I. This is the 2nd time this has happened to us. We have friends in many places except where we live. I want you to know I am here for you anytime you need to talk or chat about it with an adult female. You are NOT alone at all. Good luck - you sound wise above your years.

I can understand totally! My first sexial contact with a female was in jr high. It felt so unreal I just allowed my self to believe we were just practicing for our boyfriends. I have never forgotten that feeling. I can never really tell anyone close to me how I truly feel cause I know they wouldnt ever understand.

every one feels this a some point and time even if it isnt about being les or bi and this site should change that

It is very sad that you can't be open about your sexuality. I have several friends who are lesbians and they are quite surprised that although I am something of an 'old fart' I have a very accepting attitude. The way I see it is, it is not my place to comment on another persons sexuality, I just accept people for who they are and yes, I have gay friends too, though, surprisingly not as many, they know I am straight and as a couple of them have said, I'm not their type, a fact of which I am grateful, lol. So be who you are, I know it's difficult, but you will always have someone to talk to, in me, x

I feel exactly like you. I am so sad, I have 'come out' to my parents and my husband. My hubby loves me and has stood by me, I suppose I am bi although we do not have any physical love, he does not mind me having a girl friend and will even make time at home for me to have a friend home for love. I have not come out at work, again I have a wonderful boss, he's a good ten years younger than me but we share so many things, most notable is that he is a cross-dresser, completely out to everybody. In that sense I am able to confide in him and we are like sisters more than employees.

We used to keep the fact that were lesbians to ourselves. Whose business is it anyway? But as we became more comfortable with ourselves, with our love, it became less and less important. Even today we do not announce the fact that we love each other, but anyone with common sense can figure it out. We do not see a straight couple going around telling the world that they are married. We feel that as long as we respect the way others live, others should respect how we live.<br />
Lesbians have along way to go as far as being treated as a equal in the real world. I feel as long as we love ourselves and be a positive part in our commmunity the world has accept us for what we are.

Just because you are a lesibian,I will not think less of you at all.Myself,I am a guy who loved woman and I always will.Still,I look at you as a friend regardless what you are like.I have a few friends that are like you.I never look down at them at all.We are all human,but with some differances in all of our lives.<br />
If you do need someone to talk with,I will talk with you if you like.I will never turn you away at all.

I just found this site and I already love it. You're right. I can be myself here just as you without being afraid. I will come out to everybody the moment I don't have gym anymore. Idk, I just don't want it to be akward every single time we have to change. But my best friend knows and I'm planning on telling my parents soon, I know they will love me all the same. (thet work at the pupil guidance center, so they deal with gay students all the time.)

Being a lesbian in todays world is the least thing to be scared or embarrassed about. Just come out and I think you will find the reaction is far better than you are fearing. Being gay or lesbian is no big thing anymore. Good luck, I think you will be fine once to let it out!

I can identify in that you want to have stability before coming out. I was accepted as "lesbian" for the most part but knew not many (within my circle) would accept me as a transguy. I allowed people to believe I was a homosexual female for a bit but once I transferred to a liberal college, I'm fully out. Out at school, to those around me and at work. <br />
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Once you're able to be out, it'll be GREAT, for the most part anyway. It's liberating to be able to fully be yourself.

I am not gay nor Bi but i was in a majority white school all my life and use to look like the nerdiest kid ever. Being picked on and beat up every day. being tortured and called the ****** Nerd. So I can understand up to a point the feeling of being safe now, but I am 19 now and far away from high school. Life gets better, dare to be different. I am now, I keep a small circle of friends and they are with me till the end and we are all night and day but we respect each other. When you find your team of friends that you can trust with your life with that secret they evolve to family, and trust me that is one hell of a good feeling.

hey you know what we have the same situation. im living in a conservative country where people find it hard to accept the third sex and I cant come out specially to my family coz they will never accept me i knew it.

I feel exactly the same. Only once I have my own money, career and lots and lots of friends will comme out. That way I won't need to rely on family for money if they disown me and out of those tons of friends someone will stick around....right.

Shame on us humans having to justify who we are and adopting laws for 2 people to unite. We are out way ****** up. Worse gender on earth I say we are