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I've known I like girls since I was little but I like boys too. It's still quite confusing to me if I actually 'like' boys I mean I'm physically attracted to men and women at the same time and I'm sure I like girls but not so sure about guys. I find some boys attractive and cute but it's been long since I had feelings and wanted to give everything for a boy. Anyway I still consider myself bisexual. I've never told anyone I'm a lesbian or bi, I've acted 'straight' my whole life because I care about what other ppl would think of me and also because my mother is strongly against gays (she's quite worried I'm gay but doesnt say it straight to my face, only asks me sometimes if I got another bf yet, half joking, cuz she REALLY hopes I'm not gay) I've had two boyfriends before, I dated them only so to make myself seem cool and 'straight'. (Dating made teenagers seem cool idek) And when I have feelings for a girl, I would do everything to make sure she's happy but I never talk about it and I'd hide my feelings as if there's nothing. I'm afraid that I'll go through my whole life acting as someone I'm not and end up marrying someone I don't even love. I know it's terrible and I should come out to be who I really am but I can't. For now. Maybe someday when I meet someone that's worth the risk I'll (maybe) do it. But before that I'll have to just live my life, not totally being who I am.
msmika msmika 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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this is scary on how point this is to me . I would give my everything for a girl but I just can't do the same for a guy but yet I still think they're attractive and stuff . It sucks hiding a big part of your life but society can make you feel that scared to do that .

It feels relieving So many people out there are facing the same problem and feeling stuck in it. "Don't care about other people's opinions about you and don't let them change who you are." The problem is we care about the opinions of those who we care and care about us. I hate how stereotypes and long-held thoughts can make the lives of so many so difficult... just because they think you SHOULD be with guys not girls. It's easier nowadays, the society is accepting. Yet i'm still scared because we can't control everyone's thoughts. On the outside they're like oh thats fine, but maybe they actually think 'ew that's gross', 'omg i thought she was straight wtf', 'i'm still her friend but that's such a shock how am i gonna accept that', which is why i'm scared to step out. Cuz I can't help but care so much about other ppl's opinion and there's nothing I can do to change that.

exactly , and there's always that awkwardness you have with your friends even if they say it's okay . you feel as if they don't look at you the same or just constantly judging you .

I know right! I feel so much like we're the same person omg

(I'm sorry the first sentence was supposed to be 'it's relieving to know i'm not the only one who feels this way.)

I caught on lol

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