This is my first time on this site. Let's hope it goes well haha. Seventh grade was really when understood my sexuality. In plain terms, I realized I liked girls. I was obsessed with this girl named Kennedy. I thought she was so beautiful, with her blonde hair and her blue eyes and her perfectly tanned skin. At first I thought I was just jealous. But I wasn't. I texted her everyday for about a year. Eventually she didn't have time for that anymore, and I was surprised that I was hurt by that. I believed I loved her, and she didn't love me back. End of seventh grade. A long period of time passed where I just had nonstop crushes on straight girls. You know, the ones that think you're "cute" because you compliment them and only keep you around for the attention. Which you're happy to give for a while. They hold hands with you. And you'll take any attention from a girl that you can get. I think we can agree on that. Then, summer after eighth grade I told one person that I liked girls. I made sure to tell a person who cared enough about me to keep my secret, but also who honestly couldn't care less if I was lesbian, transsexual, or a purple alien for all she cared. That was fine. Skip ahead to sophomore year. I met this girl. This girl who was so beautiful just because of her diversity. She was so different than me. Dark brown hair that always had some ***** dyed. Nose piercing. An obsession with bands I had never heard of, or just music in general. Beautiful. Openly gay too, which was something to aspire to. So one night, we snuck out of our houses at 2 a.m. to see each other. Romantic, I know. We went to this playground and just sat and talked. I sort of told her, in my introverted way, that I liked her. And she told me in a very consoling way that she didn't feel the same way, although she wanted to still be friends. And it got sooo awkward after that, walking home together haha. But we said our awkward goodbyes anyways, and hugged. But she lingered on that hug and kissed me on the cheek. And I got so mad haha. She had just told me she didn't like me, after I came out to her! Friends don't kiss each other, even on the cheek. So now I think we're friends. Still not sure. That's pretty much my story for now haha. Going into my junior year in high school now so we'll see what happens! :)
RecklessShenanigans RecklessShenanigans
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 17, 2014

kisses are not always meant sexually. maybe she was just showing that she cared.