Well, Only Around My Family.

My friends know and all of that.  It's just that no one in my family does.  Or at least I think they don't.  The last time I tried to tell them, let's say it didn't go over too well.  Not with them, with me.  I freaked out and became really, really depressed.  I don't know why, really.  My parents, I know they wouldn't like kick me out or anything, but I know that they wouldn't feel the same way for me as they did before, and I can't bear that.  I can't bear to know that my parents won't love me the same because of my sexuality.  Therefore, I'm holding off telling them until I know in my head that I'll be okay with what will come.  I am not emotionally ready to handle it now, but when I am I'm going to tell them.  And I really can't wait.  Because hiding this inside of me is really beginning to get to me.
Jaggie Jaggie
18 Responses Oct 7, 2007

Crying because it is rough being closeted.

I call it mind over matter...if they mind...they don't matter...

i know how you feel being a closeted lesbian sucks...coz u usually cant have a girlfriend or atleast have sex with other lesbians...i hate it...

i'm waiting to tell my parents until the day I move out lol

I understand your fears, I also have similar fears. But I realised life is too short, time passes by so quickly and if you do not tell them this will haunt you, you will not feel free when you are with your partner/lover/girlfriend. I have realised that in me not telling my family I have become withdrawn and less closer to my family than I was before.

i know how you feel...no one except a few friends knows im gay..but my mom keeps tellin me she thinks my bestfriend is..and my bestfriend is my girlfriend..funny thing is though im the stud, and she's the femme. I think my mom's in denial..but I'm happy for you..at least making a decision to come out soon..

I totally feel you!

girl i was crying when i read ur story im in th same shoes i a very sad person cuz cant tell my mom just cant tel her cuz shes so sick and dont know what to do,and another problem i dont know any gay people i fell traped i live in th los angeles area just cant live like this ok hope we cant chat bye

Boy, I am so grateful that I did not grow up in a religious household and that my family isn't prejudice towards anybody. And even with that on my side I found it very hard to admit that I am bisexual to my sis ter and my mother, but only because I was worried about what they would think...(eww, she likes girls too?)<br />
I didn't end up admitting it to them until I was living in my own apartment (17 years old) And they didn't much care anyway...<br />
My heart goes out to those who feel pressured and trapped by the people who are supposed to care about them.....

One would think if your parents love you they will accept you for what you are.I suppose you can understand a bit of shock and surprise but I don't think you lose love because of sexuality.But if it does worry you that much.use it as part of the excitment..Keep it secret and really enjoy it when and where it may happen.I think it is more acceptable for a woman to be Bi now than at any other time.I know most guys love the thought of two woman making love and there a lots of woman trying it for the first time each day.They still like guys to so it is win win.You are the one that creates your destiny and happiness,would you rather be unhappy to please your parents?

i know how you feel. I just recently discovered that I am BI and I just cant put myself into telling my family or my friends. I know that my family will not feel happy about it so I'm keeping it to myself. As for what my friends' reactions will be, I don't know. I'm going through one day at a time for now. Exploring things in a discreet way =)

Im a closeted gay professional man whos 33 and attractive. Im getting the pressure to be married from family. Has anyone considered getting married an living life as a lesbian and a gay man and our amilies will never know.

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That's a shame you feel depressed about it. I'm of course not saying it's your fault/ you're being negative. What I mean is: My whole situation has made me feel liberated to realize I might be a lesbian. I'm welcoming the greater sense of identity that might replace the confusion :)<br />
I won't care what people think - I just want to be sure before i proclaim it:P If they think less of me, they don't deserve to be close to me. You need to have faith in yourself above anyone else. Be confident, and if you're not confident, feign confidence. lol. Works like a charm. <br />
You'll probably be surprised by your parents' reaction. They'll love you just the same, and maybe they'll just act strangely because they'll think about you differently, but it won't last long. Even if they were to renounce you as a daughter, someone else will always be there eventually to love you for all of who you are. Those are the people who are worth your love.

i know exactly how you feel, the fear of every one turning their back on you just because you might have found love with the same sex. I'm Bi-sexual and so far only the people who have read this would know. my parents (divorced) have made it clear that homosexuals did not deserve life on this earth, i feel so bad! i mean sure im bi but i do "like" girls maybe even more than i like guys.<br />
i dont even know if my own friends would accept me if i ever tell them and being alone really frightens because as a child i have been a loner up until a few years back.<br />
<br />
so jaggie i really hope you would be able to tell your family one day and i also very much hope that they will love and accept you all the same!!!

Sadgirlporvida, I actually had to lie to my mom and tell her I was bi. She asked me once if I was gay, and I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't happy with the idea, so I totally made up the lie because I wasn't happy with telling the truth. It's definitely hard. I'm working on the being happy with myself part, slowly it's coming. I know that's the most important thing, me. Thanks for the comment. :) <br />
<br />
Rose: That's awesome you told your therapist. I couldn't even tell mine yet. I have this pre-concieved idea that she's going to hate me. But you're lucky, at least you've got someone to confide in. I used to have that when I was dating my ex. It was great, I was so confident. I'm glad to know that you're not going through all of this alone, because it's hard stuff. Oh man, that sucks that your parents want you to go to a Christian school. College should be about finding yourself. I know exactly what you mean about the parents thing. My parents wouldn't be vocal about it, but they'd let me know in their own special way that they would never be happy about me moving in with a girl. *sigh* <br />
Today, I went to Borders with my family and read Curve magazine with my mom, stepdad and sister sitting inches away from me (thankfully they didn't see anything). I felt like I was on a high or something. LOL <br />
<br />
But I'm getting closer and closer to being ready...these days it seems like my true self just wants to leap out of my skin. <br />
<br />
Anyway, enough rambling. I guess I'm just happy to know that there's people out there who understand what I'm going through, people to talk to. :)

yeah, I know exactly how you feel, I'm not emotionally ready to tell my parents either . . . because they WOULD freak out, and do everything BUT kick me out. the only reason they wouldn't kick me out it because they would want to 'cure' me, because they have said, about other people, that they think people aren't gay, they're just confused . . . that makes me furious, that I probably won;t get them to understand for a long time. well i'm going to college next year, but they want me to go to a christian college, and i feel like i'll be cramped, and what I really want to do is break free from this secret life i'm living, and one day, if I ever meet my true love, I know they would throw a fit the size of the universe if I said I wanted to marry/live with a girl. I try not to think ahead, because i've always had a good relationship with them, but i know this will kill it, someday, and they might never understand. the one person who knows is my therapist, and she said she would never tell my parents unless I told her to, and that if I needed, she could help me tell them. That means more than anything to me, to have one person who knows, who is totally okay with it, and didn't even bat an eyelash when I told her. i think my depression is caused partly by the fact that i can;t really live. my life is being stifled, because i have to pretend that I am fine all the time, and pretend to like guys at school, so my friends and family don;t suspect anything. i am really empathic towards anyone else who is in a situation like this.

I feel you! I have only told 3 people that I am Bi...I guess Its a little different for me because I like both sexes. I was at first going to not given in to liking women and stick to dating men...but it started to bother me. Then I met this girl...and it went downhill from there...well if you read my story in "I love someone who doesnt love me back" , you'll see why...I guess you can understand why I am afraid! But cheer up....the important thing is to make yourself happy and it doesnt matter if everyone is.