I Honestly Don't Even Know Where To Begin On This.

I'm terrified.  I've been suspicious for 7 years of my life about who I am, I've been pushed on a few occasions with "taking the leap" and it only made me all the more private and uncomfortable. Over the past year I have started to face the fear a bit, and am able to admit that I know I'm a lesbian, but only to myself. Meeting another woman or even taking that first step to being with one is still something I can barely even think about at this time. I feel almost ashamed. Yet there is this overwhelming feeling that once I finally cross that line, I'll be so much happier, it feels RIGHT.

I am an extreme kind of person, I seem quite fearless in every other aspect of my life, except this.

 

NickyKhristine NickyKhristine
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 8, 2010

I really hope so, the fear is overwhelming. Both of my parent's are pastors, and I am very close to them, and I know they would disown me, my father particularly. I have a daughter and I don't want her to be without family on account of me. I really just don't think I could ever come out to them.

i mean, personally.. i'll admit to being ashamed, as much as i know i shouldn't be. you're not alone in that. i know we should all be proud of who we are, and we can't control it, but... i mean, it is harder for some than others.<br />
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make progress on your own time, when you feel comfortable. whatever's right will come eventually.