Is This Site For Real?

Well, I'm a little nervous...but I'll take the plunge.

I suspect I'm actually bi-sexual. I've never been with a woman, but I fantasize about it all the time. I've never shared these feelings or desires with anyone. And I don't think I'll be able to. I seriously play the straight life. I can't live a gay or bi-sexual lifestyle. I just don't want anyone to know. It's not that I am ashamed of these feelings. It's just personal. I'm a very private person and don't wish to share or explain anything to anyone.

That's why I hope this site is for real, because it would really be nice to discuss this with someone, anyone, in a safe environment.

I've had multiple relationships with men. And I love sex! But I have to admit that I have only achieved a true physical ****** maybe twice in my 40+ years. Man that's sad, but true. I've had mental ones, but true physical, TWO! I've always liked ****, but over the years, I've evolved to the point where only lesbian or g-o-g scenes are the ONLY scenes that I "respond" to. A man and a woman do nothing for me anymore. But I still love sex!

The thought of being with a woman is just mindblowing to me. But at the same time, I'm also afraid to take that plunge, because I know it is going to be completely life altering. And I'm afraid to open that dam of emotions. What would I do with them? How would I hide them if I allow the dam to break? So I just play the straight life and just fantasize. Sigh.

Should also add that I haven't been in a relationship or invovled with someone in a long, long time. With all the "stuff" running around out there, I just choose to abstain until something worthwhile comes only. So, when I say I am one frustrated woman, I AM ONE FRUSTRATED WOMAN. lol

And even if I were to try and have an "experience", how would one go about it and still "stay in the closet"? Can't go to a lesbian club. Although I have been to one once with a guy I was dating at the time. He thought he was trying to talk me into having a 3-way. LOL (if he only knew!!)

So, that's me.

- The Frustrated Bi

nosay nosay
46-50, F
4 Responses Feb 27, 2010

I know how you feel as well. Wish this forum would show me where people are located so we could at least try to meet for support/encouragement

Your post is great!! and I understand!!!!

I'm sure you're right, but I must admit I would be a bit concerned on how my friends would respond. My friends truly believe me to be straight. Except one old friend in high school who use to always accuse me of "having tendencies". lol The rest would FREAK OUT!! And I don't even want to think about my family!! AY CARUMBA!!

Yeah, I am in the same predicament. Id like to be with a woman but the most easy/accesable way of doing that is hitting the gay clubs. Finding your true love that way is hardly romantic and ideal anyway at the best of times not to mention abit cliqued. I would say, use a dating agency but its still not the same as getting to know someone without the pressure of knowing that you are pretty much meeting up with an intention unless thats how you want it to be like. Its a pity we cant just find people that were same sex attracted in a hassle free environment like straight people do. You may be reluctant to but perhaps the only way of doubling your chances of getting a female date is by opening up about your sexuality, you may well have alot more females walking in your direction once they know. Goodluck. : )