My Second Time

Its been a while since I have talked to Anybody about me being gay, I was still in the closest .my sophomore year of high >school was over now and it was summer, so Ive been hanging out with my friends often, and I met this guy name nanatzy, I found out that he was bi sexual, so that made me wanted to be friends with him, so we started talking and I told him about me being gay and everything, and after that we became really good friends, I guess the more I talked to him the more I started to like him, so finally I told him about how in love I was with him. He started laughing and told me he has a boyfriend, so I was disappointed to hear that but it was okay I guess. So Nanatzy told me about his boyfriend whose name was Geno, and he told me I should meet him someday since we all go to the same school, but I never planned on it. I was still crushing on nanatzy for a while, and then one day I heard nanatzy boyfriend geno broke up with him, so I felt bad for him, but he was okay and was getting things back together, but while that happened, I  was talking to Geno, well he started to talk to me, so we both started  talking and became friends, and when I talked to nanatzy  and told him about geno talking to me, he got mad and got jealous . I know I said I wasn’t gonna plan on meeting geno,  but for some reason I did, and when school started for my junior year, I been meeting up with geno all this time behind nanatzy back. I felt bad but I couldn’t help myself from geno he was so amazing to me, so we started dating now, then later on I was talking to nanatzy and he told me why geno broke up with him, he told me that he said he got tired of him and found someone better,  I felt really bad  that moment cuz that person who he was talking about was me,  I was the reason  why geno broke up with nanatzy, then nanatzy was telling me how good of a friend I was to him and how he was in love with me now, but I felt so bad cuz Im going out with his ex behind his back and I don’t love him back that way anymore, then one day when I was with geno, and nanatzy pops out of nowhere, saw us together and saw me with this heart broken face thinking how I betrayed him, but he lefted and nevered talked to me again, I felt bad about myself, but me and geno are still going out..


mayoral mayoral
18-21, M
1 Response May 5, 2012

This happens a lot, passions run really strong especially when you are new to something, and also even if you are late-teens or early-20s, parts of you are still undeveloped and you may get crushes and may hurt a few feelings. I know many years ago when I came out, the feelings were pent-up and my desire for a buddy at that time was very strong...and I made a few good and bad choices for people but I learned who I am finally, but it takes a long time.... and you can be 20 going on 14 and as long as you are nice to people and genuine, keep going, but watch for strong emotions and keep the other parts of your life strong too, hobbies, education, work, whatever they may be, and you will balance out nicely.