Crush On Work Partner

So a little background first. I am a 29 year old Gay man that works as a Paramedic. Recently I was assigned a new partner whom is 20 years old and quite good looking. I immediately took notice and began to develop an innocent crush on him. Our personalities and sense of humor click very well. I felt as though he was straight until I began to pick up on some things that pointed me to in the direction that he would be at least curious. He acts very straight (but so do I) but has some effeminate mannerisms such as the way he uses his hands to talk. Also he is VERY flirtatious with me and wants to wrestle and tries to tackle me all the time. There is a constant strange tension between the two of us and he sets my gaydar off (haha). We spend 48 hours a week together as partners on an ambulance and have now spent a little bit of time together outside of work. Recently I threw a Christmas party at my house and we ended up spending about 9 days straight together. He had ample opportunity to leave if he wanted. Nothing out of the ordinary happened outside of flirting. Also he talks about his penis on a regular basis and I probably know more about his then my own haha. I know he has slept with women and he constantly is text messaging 2 different girls that he has slept with or says he wants to. I have not told him that I am gay but he has asked me on several occasions if I am and says he would be cool with it. I have no plans to come out at work due to profound homophobia in my line of work but am considering telling him. Also while at work we spend a ton of time sitting or laying on the couch, and the other day he grabbed my bare toes and laughed. I found it kind of interesting. Also since he spent the 9 days with me he has been a bit more distant in regard to text messages. I have no idea how to take all of this and have a huge crush on this guy.

He does mention girls occasionally. Especially a few obviously attractive ones like Mila Kunas or other very attractive female stars. Usually He'll say something like I would do dirty things to them. haha. Also on one of the nights we were at my house together he wanted to go the restaurant Twin Peaks (if you don't know what that is think classy Hooters with better food and atmosphere). We went, and I found myself looking at the girls more than him. I payed pretty close attention to where his eyes wandered and honestly I never saw him make a glance at the very scantily clad women there. He is pushed to talk to girls all the time even by friends and even me haha but makes no significant attempt. The girls I know he has slept with are how do I say this politely a bit on the promiscuous side. He has not had a girlfriend since High School. He says he is just super awkward around girls and that is why he has not made any headway in that area. Also one of the girls that he slept with is trying to hook up with him again and apparently they slept together last night (he randomly texted me that information which once again made reference to his penis size WTF). I really am falling for this guy. I have no idea how to proceed other than to tell him I am gay. I am out in a few other parts of my life but not nearly as much as I should be. I am considering coming out to a few people at work as well as other friends.
seanboe1 seanboe1
26-30, M
6 Responses Dec 16, 2012

The "signs" have gotten stronger from him. He actually climbed on top of me and "stared into my eyes for a second the other night, he is continuing to touch my legs and face and he told me the other night that he wanted to **** me "jokingly of course". All unsolicited and not really reciprocated. Also I think he told me he triple kissed with a guy and girl when he was in college. Also he is an emotional roller coaster at work one minute he is happy and the next he is super angry or depressed. I am pretty sure at this point he either thinks I am bi or gay and is using me to explore his own feelings in a non threatening way. I am really falling for this guy which sucks. I like the no regrets approach to the situation.

Tell him or regret not doing so until you die.

I'm not the most experienced in this area, but I would probably start by somehow asking him if he has ever done anything with a guy. I know you could somehow work it into a conversation.

If you have sex with him, will you let us know how big his penis is? Haha, jk... sort of. I am a paramedic too, but have never had a sexy partner I wanted to fool around with.

all the best. be positive.

I think he already knows :-)