Proud Of What?

I was brought up in a roman catholic family. My family think of themselves as perfect. Yeah right!
Both my parents were racists and homophobes. The same with my siblings and the in-laws.
I often heard their racist and homophobic jokes. I laughed along but was hurt deep down inside. I never understood why people were racists. I find african-americans, Italians and Latinos appealing and sexy. To make this story short, I realized from an early age my attraction to boys, but always kept it a secret. The worse part was my High School years. I was a virgin when I graduated. I had my first gay experience at 19 and hated it. I couldn't face my mother at breakfast, feeling dirty. The following week, I hooked up with a female prostitute. That didn't help much either.
I'm in my early fifties now, but still in the closet. I don't think it's anyone's business, especially my family and fellow workers. I believe the time will come when I find the man to share my life with. That might change a lot.
As for being Proud, I don't see the point. Proud of being gay? Are heterosexuals proud of being straight?
Styopa Styopa
51-55, M
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

Im in the same boat and i feel really alone and could use some advice text me 253 507 2153

I should hope that pride extends to being able to stand up for who you are regardless of what the massive ignorance will claim. But your point is very valid.
Good luck in your search, you deserve to be loved, don't you dare forget it >_>