Hello.

WOW. I really want to come out to my parents and brother, but I just can't right now. I guess I am not ready for it...

It must have been a tremendous relief to say it and get his awesome reaction. I'm happy for you.

okay here comes the other part, now you will become to your dad the gay wikipedia. he will ask you all kinds of questions like which one is the girl, or why is that one wearing a dog collar. or if you marry will you wear a dress, are drag guy gay , and of course now that he know you are gay he will think your gaydar in 100% perfect so he will expect you to know every gay person on the planet. lol.. so get ready enjoy life peace.

Hi Evan, I'm happy to read your story. Glad you have a supportive father. May I ask if your friends or people outside knew about you sexual preference, too? Do you have problems showing your real self to them? My situation is i'm more afraid of coming out to people outside home, new friends and the ones I've known for long.

I think the granchildren or lack of them is the big issue or 'presumed issue' for most parents and if they say it isn't they're probably lying to protect the feelings of their gay son. As you say these days there are all kinds of possibilitites for adopting children. I got married havng said i wold never go with a woman. She knew I was gay. it was sort an arrangement though for a few years there was love there too. Not now we're divorcing. That part has been distressing and messy. She told her family I was gay like it was some sort of ugly discovery. I couldn't believe it at the time. I really never thought she would play such a cheap trick on me and it wasn't the last. I think aoption or an honest surriogate arrangement is far preferable. you're gay and that's not something you should ever compromise on if that's what you are. I'm so glad I'm a Dad though. That part I don't regret. My daughter is very adoring and understanding. she's my rock at times as I hope I can be to her. My wife though turned out to be a total lying *****. My daughter and I never talk about it. I think it's best we don't. She's still her mother.

Hi Evan



Interesting turnaround of events. I was going to say that your father probably knew about you being at least potentially gay. He did not go about showing his genuine love and concern for you in the right way and I'm not defending his homophobic comments for one minute. But the fact that when you ran up your rainbow flag he surrendred immediately and accepted you and what you had to say about yourself shows that his fear of the what he took to represent the "homosexual life style" and the rejection of family and family values that can appear to come with it was what fuelled his fear that he might lose you to it. All parents want grandchildren and social acceptance for their children however supportive they show themselves to be when they realise their children are gay. That disappointment may be deep and may be selfish too but what truly loving doesn't get over that sooner or later. Love that is conditional is a very second class kind of love and in some people's book it isn't really love at all. Your father clearly does love you, which is great news! He may subconsciously also have wanted to protect you from the homophobia of others but now his concern for you will show itself in very different perhaps opposite colours.

Did you ever watch the wonderful gay coming out movie 'Mambo Italiano'. I've watched it so many times now and laughed every time. It's a heartwarming gem of a film. Great cast and an enjoyable soundtrack. A real classic. It's set in the Italian community in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. It's my favourite coming out movie of all time. The gay boys are cute and easy on the eye but the best thing in the film is the parents. They are traditional 'homophobic' over protective Italian parents ....who eventually come round to accepting their son is gay with real pride but not without a lot of drama, screams and twists and turns along the way. The bafflement, the anger, the pain and the disappointment are all so real (and camp!) but also very amusing. They come through it beautifully of course. You see them at the end walking down the street with their son and his boyfriend proudly by their side and all the neighbours smile back nicely. Then the camera cuts away as they disappear and you hear one of the women mutter to her husband disapprovngly: 'Such shame that! Why couldn't he have found himself a nice Italian boy!'

Wow great dad you have! Must have been the happiest day of your life! Very happy for you!!!

Glad things worked out with your dad. I remember it was extremely hard for me to sum up the courage to not just tell my parents, but my entire family as well. I came out at 16 years old to my family and friends that I was bisexual. I (like many others) was scared of the reaction I was going to get. But not one person in my family or my friends gave me a negative reaction. Though, the hardest person i had to tell was my gf. But she took it well :). I guess I can sort of say I was lucky to have good friends and family. I was very popular in school. So I thought I was going to get a lot of hate but to my surprise, I didn't get any. Bottom, line, I am really happy things turned out good for you. I'm a 21 year old bisexual male with the women of his dreams and I salute you evan151. Stay strong bro.

I feel much more confident knowing that my dad knows, it makes me feel much better. I feel alot closer to him now too.

Don't be ashamed to be you our community may not be the worlds favorite but we will never be silenced

I never had the opportunity to do that with my dad coz he pass away too soon
But I did have the chance to do it with my mom
I'm 34 and I did it when I was 26
It cost her a lot,of understanding but at the end she is my best friend

I'm happy for u

Ask y he is puttin down the gay community
Hint at it but dont tell him till u have his complete trust

I feel you man, I'm a bisexual and is isn't easy I know. I would suggest waiting until you are not dependent on them. That way, if your mom DOES overreact, nothing crazy can impact you as much. Because we know moms control the household.

You should think about this. Sometimes it's better to lie than to tell the truth. I don't think you should come out to them.

I'm a closeted dad and don't know if this may help you.

If I were you, I'd take time to think it over. You're not in a hurry to tell him. Guess you must feel u r much more honest if you tell him. Meditate about the consequences of telling him and follow your instinct.

I don't know how your father is, but I'll always love my kids, whatever they are.

Take care, and remember u'll be the same person after you tell him. The world won't change at all.

Maybe try talking to his brothers first.... see what their take would be. This way
you will probably have more support!
Good Luck Buddy!