To People In The Closet For A Long Time

I am a 20-year-old gay guy in the closet.
I have denied it over and over, but now I have internally accepted who I am.

I do not know what my future would be like in terms of relationships.
I do not want this to affect my other aspects of life - jobs, friendships, family-relationships, etc..

At first, I thought of living my life as a closeted person. I might get married to a woman (since it is not like I am appalled by women) and live a normal marital life. In this way, I can avoid all the stages of conflicts that I have to face with my family, friends and other groups of people.

But then, I was not sure whether I could handle that all by myself.
So I wanted to ask you who have gone through it.
How did you cope with it? And if you were to live your life again, would you choose to live in the same way as you did?

Thank you for your insight and tips in advance.
wonderboy1992 wonderboy1992
18-21, M
3 Responses Feb 10, 2013

Some advice: don't get married and try to make it work if you're gay. I tried that, and it was a whole train-wreck of stupid. I spent almost nine years with my ex-wife before I left her. I lost my oldest and closest friend, all because I so dearly wanted to be "normal". Be who you are, because that's what is normal for you.

Do NOT get married unless it is to a guy, or to a girl under an "arrangement". It is a lie to promise to be faithful because almost certainly at some point "just settling" for her when you're dreaming of playing with a man's body just won't be enough.
You might be successful in the closet, but don't break a girl's heart. You can be out without being out in wide-screen high def Technicolor, if you know what I mean.

Well, if you made the decision then stick with it. It's very hard to live with all those conflicts, believe me. Or it's better to keep your identity close how far you can and enjoy your hidden life. At the end, if you want to get married then marry with a girl who understands you and who know your past and who loves you. Love is unimaginable and feelings develop at any point in any circumstances. Give it a chance when you think about marriage. Otherwise, enjoy your hidden life; don't open this closet. Best of luck.