I Think I'm Gay...
I've been struggling with my sexuality for the last couple of years, I've never really been attracted to girls, of any variety, but I have been attracted to guys. I've never had a serious relationship with anybody, and I've only ever told one person about my position, although there are a couple of people that might have guessed. At my college campus there is a fairly diverse group of people in the LGBTQ group, several of whom I'm friends with. I would like to explore that organization some and see if this really is who I am, but there is a problem that my sister (and her 3 year boyfriend) go to the same school. The way word travels, they would find out in a day or two, and my sister would tell my mo, and she would flip out.
That is the basis of my situation, I don't actually know what my parents would say, or if they have already guessed such. From hearing what people say, most people think I am straight, but I have heard of some people convinced that I'm gay. My college is fairly liberal, and I feel I would be fine there being openly gay, because they are accepted and treated as everyone else. However, in my hometown I still have friends, and the few that were openly gay in highschool were shunned by a significant portion of the student body.
For next school year, I might have caught a lucky break. My roommate, through almost pure chance is someone who is openly gay. He contacted me to see if it would be fine if he signed up for the same room and I said yes. I have no idea what our relationship is going to look like, or if I should put my burden on his shoulders.
As I stated in the title, I'm not 100% positive I'm gay, and as much as I try I am not attracted by girls. Guys are no problem, I have to watch my reactions very closely when in public because I'd much rather come out under my control at a time I choose, rather than gossip.
If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. I've never sought out help before, so I really am at a loss. If I want to find that "right guy" I'd really like to let them know I'm looking.