I really do not know just when I started letting others use me as their codependent, but with hind sight I can see many times that I did allow myself for this function. Also I have come to realizes that I am still doing it. When I was married my EX. has an addiction to pizza of all things. As much as I tried to stop her from indulging in this addiction, I cannot say without being a complete liar, that I did all that I could and should have done. I even was able to justify something’s she did to obtain her pizzas. I kept making excuse for this behavior, even when my friends and family tried to stop me. She went as far as to write over $300.00 in bad checks for pizza when I was working out of town. I just blamed it on the loss of our still born child. I see it today, but I can see I have not stopped. Now, by definition, I am in a situation in which I feel needed by my kids, so as to letting them call up and I’ll rush over there, even if I do not have the gas to do so. I give them money that I do not have just to please them. In fact over the 4th of July weekend I spent all my food budget for the month, as well as my gas money and expense cash so they would have everything they wanted for the trip. I have noticed that I have been letting my parents become my codependent to being their codependent. However, now that I have seen the problem I can get help and I can stop. This is my problem, and mine alone. I do not blame it on my EX or on my kids.
doctorirwin doctorirwin
46-50, M
Jul 13, 2010