When I first joined the path to overcoming codependency, I found that I was carrying a lot of baggage for other people (not that they asked me to or even knew.) I tried to toss out things that weren't really my stuff. Since there was a lot of baggage it was kinda easy at first; it created a sense of freedom to not have to worry about so many details. Then the question arose: how do you tell your issues from the crap you've been carrying for others. Of course you don't really quit taking on others issues either, but at least I spot it quicker now... Anyway, I hit a plateau for awhile. Finally I noticed that many things and people in my life were just falling away. I struggled with becoming more isolated again (that has been a problem.) Finally I realized that I could determine what I ACTUALLY care about by seeing what I missed having in my life. I saw an article (from Oprah of all places) about reaching a place in your life you want to get to. At first I thought it was hokey, but I realized I can create a picture of the things I want in my life to help motivate me to take steps in putting things in my life that I want there, rather than because others want or like it. A positive step or two anyway.
madstalker madstalker
41-45, M
Jan 6, 2013