New Member - Knitwicca

I am new to the concept of being codependent.

I have always seen myself as a caring person, willing to jump in and help whenever I see a need.  At present, I am going through a divorce. While waiting to see my counselor, I picked up a pamphlet about the signs of being codependent.  Nearly every one fit me.

I asked my counselor if, in her opinion, I fit the criteria. She laughed and said "oh YEAH."

So... here I am. I will share more of my story as I get comfortable with this group.

To begin with, I was married for 14 years to a man who wanted a caregiver - not a partner in life. I did not recognize this until about a year ago. It was my job to work, do all the housekeeping, grocery shopping, any chores that he found distasteful, even wash his back every time he showered. He made comments about any food I enjoyed that he did not. He was vicious about my clothing, hair color, choice of reading over tv. He demanded that I prepare his food, put it onto a plate and serve him at the sofa so he did not have to go to the table.  When finished, whether I was or not, he would shove his dishes at me to remove immediately. I could go on a lot more but will not at this time.

I did not realize how much of myself I had lost until just over a year ago.  Thankfully, it is not too late for me to change.

BTW, I am also a recovering alcoholic with 15 years sober.

knitwicca knitwicca
46-50, F
Feb 24, 2010