I Don't Know Who I Am Sometimes

I feel like I've only gotten more complex the older I've gotten. Sometimes I have this weird frustration where I just want to know what I am, and it annoys me that I'm so many things because I just want to be a bit... simpler, I suppose? That sounds so weird, I can't even describe it right really.

And I'm thinking I have a lot of different problems too. I'm recovering from depression, used to SI a long time ago, still struggle a bit with anxiety, am certain I have avoidant personality disorder and possibly selective mutism. I've always just thought that I'm 'shy', and at first I think that was the case, but thesedays I know it's become a bit of a phobia from people in general... and sometimes I feel better about going out into the world, then other times...

I think I just need to meet better people, and improve on my (usually) negative view of myself some more, as well as get more confidence.

FateCantDecide FateCantDecide
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 24, 2009

i feel that way as well but i also wonder why im haveing thoughts that i have i dont even feel like my life is my life like im walking in another mans shoes

Hey, it's uncanny how much I resonate with your story... I've felt that way a lot! Yes, a good idea is to meet positive people, to watch a comedy film maybe, or do something that you enjoy doing. I feel that frustration too, it's annoying isn't it? It'll get better, trust me.