Hey all,

Im a 24 year old male from New Jersey looking for some help. For as long as I can remember, I've been a liar. My earliest memory of it was in my extreme youth when my mom was scolding me for lying to her. I got upset and she said "You're not crying because you lied, you're crying because you were caught." I don't remember exactly what I thought, but the end game was that I got better at it. Lying to get what I wanted, lying to play people against each other, lying to dodge retribution or chastisment. I've run little cons here and there, nothing planned or lucrative, just mind games, and I really don't know why. It's exciting in a way I guess, seeing how far you can run a person before they figure it out. My friends know I'm full of ****, the girls I've dated figure it out eventually too. I'm getting to a point where I don't really know who I am anymore, I've told so many stories and bullshit so much, I just can't get it straigh in my head anymore. It's gotten to a point where it's my initial impulse, regardless of the question, I try and twist it or change it altogether. I want to be able to take myself seriously again; instead of thinking "Where's my angle in this situation?", I just want to man up and be up front and honest. Any advice?

Ham J
Hamburgerjames Hamburgerjames
22-25, M
2 Responses Aug 8, 2010

You've taken the all important first step! I say let people know of your problem up front and you will be surprised at how helpful they will be! Good luck!

Ham J- Well pat yourself on the back for recognizing you have a problem. That's the first part of healing. If I were in your situation I would just start correcting myself every time I started to say a lie. For example: "Ham J what do you do for work?"<br />
"I am an astronaut. No, I'm sorry that's not what I do. I am actually __________."<br />
I would admit and explain to people what you're trying to do. Your friends will support you if you approach it from the angle that you need help and want to change. Maybe you could have your friends cue you like they could say "Ham J is that exactly what happened? Are you sure? Do you want to rephrase that?" <br />
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