Managing The Lying

What have others done in order to stop CL. Therapy? What do you do when you think you are going to tell a lie to stop yourself?
Dani987 Dani987
22-25, F
2 Responses Nov 25, 2012

Hi Dani,

You are a sick person trying to get well not a bad person trying to get good. Lying addiction/ compulsive lying is a disease not a moral issue.

I think the first and most important tool is to get still and think before you speak.

Learn to not open your mouth until you consciously and deliberately think about what you are going to say. Taking time to think will serve you well. This breaks the compulsive nature of lying. You start to gain control back.

Be as still and present as you can be. Deep breathe from your abdomen with slow breaths imagining your lungs are in your stomach. This helps with panic and nerves and prevents fear from entering the equation (which is usually the root cause of all lies.) You may stutter and stumble more when first stopping lying as you will be paying more attention to not lying but this is okay, very normal and will pass.

In time there will be more inner ease as you detoxify from the pleasure chemical dopamine you have been addicted to and adjust to life without lies. All of this prevents lies from leaving your mouth.

Regaining control over what comes out of your mouth is the easiest way not to lie but it will be far from easy. Expect that. Give yourself time.

Sometimes shutting up very quick is the only way not to lie.

Sometimes not speaking for long periods is the only way not to lie too.

If you fear you are vulnerable to lying on any given day protect yourself with silence. Wait for your self esteem to come back up and only then allow yourself to speak. You will begin to learn where your safety margins are.

When someone asks you something, take a brief pause before answering and get into the habit of telling yourself not to lie before you speak. Some lying addicts find the affirmation “honesty is the best policy” incredibly useful before they utter a single word.

Pausing as you speak is also very useful as is speaking slower than you would do
normally to “filter” your words before you speak to people. Really think about what
the real answer is to the question you are being asked or the thing is you are discussing.

If you are uncomfortable answering truthfully, say you are not comfortable. You don’t have to give any explanations. Your only obligation is to truth whosever feathers you ruffle in the process…

Loved ones may interpret your stumbling as you trying to hide lies. Ride the storm of that. They are as traumatized as you are by having lived in the twilight zone for so long and will settle down to inner peace in time the more they witness truth from you.

Give them their moment of stumbling. They’ve paid their dues as much as you have. They deserve and have earnt their moments of imperfection.

Each time you deflect the impulse to lie and speak the truth it is a huge victory and a massive accomplishment. You start to realise that you are not the failure your lower vibration addiction has had you believe you are.

Telling the truth then becomes less and less frightening over time.

Big Hug,
Billi Caine

Hi Dani. I have been there. I used to be a compulsive liar. People lie for a myriad of reasons. Though many in number they can be categorized into 2 main headings
1.Lying to boost your ego- Makes you feel good, superior ....etc
2.Lying to avoid pain- To safe ones skin, get out of a tight spot,....etc

In my experience the best and most economical way of kicking that habit is by accepting Jesus. Don't get me wrong it doesn't happen without humility and an act of your will. The basic steps are well known and as old as the hills.

a. Get into a quiet state (Be still). Tell HIM (Jesus) that you are a hopeless sinner/liar. Tell HIM that you know you are powerless to stop.
b.Tell HIM that you know that HE is the only way you are going to stop lying and sinning.
c.Tell HIM that you know that HIS sacrifice on the cross is the the only way you can be free from lying and sinning.
d.Tell HIM you fully accept HIS lordship and HIS will for your life.
e.Tell him to send HIS Holy Spirit to live in you and control your every thought, word and action.

This always works. Quite simply it never fails. The only condition for a rapid transformation is your desire and will to accept the Holy Spirit.It worked for me. The reason it took so long for me to change (years) , is that a part of me was fighting the small inner voice (Holy Spirit) that came soon after i spoke the prayer (a-e).When i stopped fighting the Holy Spirit i was shocked at how quickly i stopped lying.Oh, did i mention that's the same way i stopped drugs, alcohol dependence, womanizing,internet ****, and compulsive swearing.Of course there is still a great deal of stuff in me that HE has to change, but i know Through Jesus all things are possible.