Pseudologia Fantastica...destroying Me

Recently I've gotten into a relationship with a fellow and it's just not going too swell. We both have our own fair share of issues.

But about a year ago my therapist told me I had Pseudologia Fantastica. I denied the existence of such a thing, especially about myself, but there's no way this isn't true. I stopped going to therapy, about two months after she told me I had it. Why? Because I didn't want to deal with it. I thought she was full of crap and that I was perfectly fine. But now it's showing that I'm not...

I know. KNOW after I've told a lie, but I can't seem to get it in my head that this is a bad thing to begin with. When I started this relationship, it was on a lie. He found out about a month in, and we got over that, slowly but surely. He was hurt that I'd lied and I couldn't come up with why I had. I kept telling him different reasons and when it ended up to the point of my reasons were clashing, it just made no sense...

Then came today, he had gotten some random email with a bunch of conversations with a long-ago ex of mine. Nothing overly important, at all. And it would have been fine and thrown away if when he'd asked me about the kid, I'd just said "Yeah, dated him, broke up, nothing big." But no, my first reaction was - "What? Don't know him. Why would you ask?"

I don't understand this. I don't know why I do it and it's hurting my significant other. I told him, about PF and admitted to the issue that I have. Which is a huge step for me, I know that. But I just want it to be okay. I don't want to have him question my every move and I don't want him to have to wonder all the time if what I'm saying is the truth.

I'm crying. I freaking know that this is horrible of me to ask him to stay but he says he can't go even if he wants to. He says he loves me more than anything and I believe that.

I really do love him.

I think I'm most worked up with that he said I don't respect him today. I..I do. I really do. But I just have this damn issue. And I can't get past it.

My parents don't know, I haven't been up front with them about it because I've just now decided that I need to get it handled. I'm going to go back to therapy in January but I...can't stand how angry my boyfriend is at me.

I can't help it, either.
Krawsley Krawsley
2 Responses Dec 7, 2012

Hi Krawsley,<br />
I think what you are suffering from at your core is lying addiction not any of these other fancy labels the psychiatric profession like to pin on people who lie. Lying as an addiction is a disease not a moral issue. To decide whether you are a lying addict or not, here's my website... <br />
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Big Hug,<br />
Billi Caine

Ohhhh ok. It's good that you're going back to therapy. I want u to get your boyfriend involved and really understand PF because maybe he can help...I think (just an idea) idk

Thanks :/ I'm trying to get him involved but it's long distance so he can't really join in on the therapy sessions with me.

Oh ok

Sorry I couldn't help out more :-(

It's fine! Thank you for trying to help at all! (:


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