Self Preservation

I lie. I don't cheat. I have stolen (in the most basic sense). But the only people I can do these things to, are my family. Why? I am not sure. I keep hurting my mom, with my lies. I lie for no reason, and that is what she hates the most. My step dad no longer trusts me, and even worse, I think one of my younger brothers is starting to pick it up. I am not as independent as i would like to be. I feel incredibly uncomfortable lying to anyone else. I hate being lied to. I hate lies in general, but my parents are the only people I lie to, when they are the last people I should lie to, if I should even lie at all. Does this make me a compulsive liar?
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26-30
1 Response Dec 13, 2012

Hi Is there Truth,
I would define you as a lying addict not as a compulsive liar. You don't lie for "no reason". You lie, in my view, because you are addicted to lying. People who drink alcohol addictively don't drink "for no reason". They drink because they are addicted to alcohol. It is the same with people who lie in a compulsive way.

I define lying addiction as “The condition of being addicted to lying as a normal and reflexive way of responding to life where the intention is not to cause harm to others.” This goes one step further than just "compulsive lying" (defined as “the compulsive need to lie as a normal and reflexive way of responding to life.”) because lying in a compulsive way has addictive traits and not all lies are compulsive. Some are premeditated. "Addiction" on the other hand is defined as “The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.”

I spent a great deal of time in research on people who lie in a compulsive way and wrote a book which you may find helpful. It is called "When Truth is Not Enough: Insights into the Minds of Lying Addicts" - by Billi Caine. It can be found on Amazon Kindle.

Big Hug,
Billi Caine