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Lost With Children That I Try to Control and Get No Respect

I need to talk to someone that is going through what I am. I am 47 years old and I have lost a lot of my family by death. I try to control both my daughters 25 and 19 only because I am so fraid that something is going to happen and I will loose them. Its a horrible feeling I a misreable and so are they. My other problem is I  have spoiled them and I dont know how to stop.

 

If any one is out there please give your thoughts positive and negative I feel like I am at my end.

 

bottomlow bottomlow 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 24, 2008

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I sympathise with you loss, but you have to realise that controlling behaviour is negative which is why they don't respect you, controlling behaviour also hurts the people you are controlling, it seems to be a good solution to have a desired affect but, it really doesn't have the desired outcome. You are using the wrong medicine to heal your malady. consider bereavement counselling to help you to come to terms with your grief and how to enjoy being with your family again, fear of losing people have attached itself to your grief, realise that is not a healthy state of mind and can be sorted out, that will produce better results for you all. Good luck.

I know it must be hard for you after losing so many people you love, but you have to let your daughters live their own life--they are woman now. You will just push them away by trying to control them. Tell them how you feel and why you act the way you do--tell them it's because you love them and you worry.<br />
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And there's nothing wrong with spoiling them unless they treat you bad.

I am sorry about your situation. I am unfortunately not going through the same thing but I want you to know that if you need anyone to talk to, I am an awesome listener. You are going through a really hard time right now, and I can understand that. Message me if you want to talk. I am here. And remember, you are awesome, even if you don't always think so.