Me And My Transgendered Life

well, this is the first time i am ever opening up online so.. ya lol... well i am a 16 year old boy. i have had the urge to crossdress since i was 8. my parents dont know about me crossdressing but my closest (girl) friends do. i dont have a lot of money and i live far away from towns so i have a really difficult time getting girl cloth.. i see lots of of other crossdressers online with all their clothing and i wish that was me lol. but oh well. but anyways i keep my crossdressing a secret from my family cause my parents would just laugh at me and put me down if they ever found out. so i am not going to tell them ever. i have dreamed about meeting another crossdresser and hanging out with them. i want to get dressed up by someone else so badly its like, i want to do that as much as you want to eat your next meal. i dont have much cloth but i make due with what i have. so ya. i am really interested in meeting people around my age who do the same thing as me and i would really love to get to know them and get to make some new friends i can relate with. my AIM is bowhutner507, my email is the bowhunter name is just to also help shade the fact about my feminine side from my parents.. i know i should tell people about me, (ex. my mom) but i dont think i could ever do that. and i dont know why but for the past few months deppression has been hitting me pretty hard. for some odd reason like if anyone says something bad to me at school (which happens every day all day long but i am used to it) even though i have been going through that my whole life, like 1 dumb comment can send me into a bad state of depression. my closest friends notice it to. i am a very happy and out going person. but for the past few months.. idk but it feels like i just want to give up. .. well, plz throw me a chat sometime. i would really like to meet you guys <3
TorquedStudios TorquedStudios
18-21, M
16 Responses Jun 15, 2010

How would YOU feel and think if you had a son in your situation? Maybe your folks are not as unaccepting as you think.

If you want to talk about your depression, I am willing to help! I am also in the closet and have been for a long time so I know all of the pitfalls there are!
If you want to be friens it may be a simpler thing for you! I started when I was 8 and an now 47 so I am old! Hehe

Huni, If we lived closer, I would take you in and raise you as my daughter; always glamorous hair, makeup,hair, nails, perfumed, and wearing satin smooth sheer glossy nylons and stilettos, beautiful sexy outfits, showing off your breasts, lovely figure, and beautiful legs:)

that would be a dream! you have no idea!!!

hay i know how you feel i am also a cross dreser and i have never told my family at all keep in contact so we can cat cheers :)

there is an amusing side to my life that may help you - ( although im not a full cross dresser but i do love high heels ) for years i lived at the family home and had a growing collection of high heels under the bed - my secret hiding place - time passed , and situations changed , and i finally spread my wings and moved out - my father whom i loved and never told died - and then my mother moved - years later she visited me one day while my current girlfriend was here and she told my mother about my shoes - i was afraid to enter the room , but when i did they were both laughing , my mother said - thank god i thaught you were a serial rapist or something - and ever since she s been on my case to borrow a pair - so as other people have said ... she will love you .... whatever you decide ... hope it helps in some small way , good luck

my davice go step by step daily wearing pantyhose .panties after year star with camisole later bra first lingere under male cloths later starte with shoes etc and tell you mother better for you .all we girls or ladies has the same problem but 40 50 years ago if i was young again ill told mother all becouse genetic woman i svery acceptable for us . if you dont open now what you want to be or only dress later you have more and more hard deciscion .. mother is mother thrust her in told her evrything .kiss

yes after reading our story did it bring back sum sad memoires when i was your age in the same boat as you school was hell for me to but stay in school and then you can get out and live our life the way wont was looking at the map to see where live you are in the back block as we say down here I live in NewZealand but I know PA well I worked out of woodlands PA for wall mart as truck driver for year good luck and hang in there

well thank you... who is this person maybe we can chat sometime. maybe words from another peer who did it already may help.... but i understand what your sayin and one day i will do it. i can pretty much garuntee that.. i just dont know when

While I don't know your name, first or last, a name is not something to be ashamed of. However,<br />
you said you get seriously depressed, that is what concerns me. The feeling you get in your stomach<br />
is nerves. You have to face this forward. If your friends don't accept you, they are not true friends as you will learn as you grow older. Family is NOT about gender, it is about love and tolerence. When we attempt to deceive those we love, then we also deceive ourselves. The depression only gets worse as you internalize what you feel inside. This where you could face your greatest DANGER.<br />
I know you probably wished you were dead several times, I know from experience what the next step is. I know it is hard to believe but your mother would rather have a LIVE girly son then a dead son in a box. Please talk to her. As far as the abuse, most crossdressers were abused by family growing up, they think it will make a MAN OUT OF YOU. This is neanderthal thinking and a bunch od bullcrap.<br />
My father hated me, treated me like I wasn't worth his time, however my Uncle saw the real me and <br />
gave me every opportunity to be my true self. So don't sell your family short. Respect is an earned virtue, if you are upfront as to who you are, what you want to become, then your hopes and dreams will become a reality. If you hide in the shadows it won't. <br />
I talked to another young person like yourself on another site. I told him basically the same as I told you here. He became a member of THE MERMAID SOCIETY. They as well as what I was telling him<br />
helped him to open up and blossom into a fully productive person. As he opened up more his school grades improved, he actually started taking ballet lessons. He told his mother a couple months later and found out everything I had said was true and the mermaid society words. While he does not go out and about yet in his dresses, he does wear them at home and the last time I talked to him he had acquired several dresses and skirts. So at least look into the mermaids website, I<br />
know they can help.

i know you guys know what you are talking about its just... ok here is the best way i can explain this... i am in a pipe band and i wear kilts and all that no problem.. i am not afraid at all to go out and perform in front of people. but the second i think about telling my mom about what i do and what i feel, its like my heart says yes but my stomach hurts and my head screams NO!!! i know i shouldnt keep these feelings bottled up and yes i get very deppressed sometimes... but i got a very bad past. i went through alot. from my mom's ex's abusing me ( hurtfuly not sexually) to being the laughing stalk of the school just because of my last name... i hate where i live and somedays i hate who i am. i would def say i am ashamed of my who i am but other times, i am proud of it.. all i can say is i am messed up right now, but i dont want to tell my parents. i know what you guys are saying is true, its just that.. i cant get up the stregnth to do so. because i know how it will turn over. she will tell everyone, i know it. and i cant stand the thought of my whole family especially my idols ( my grandfather, and step father) i cant stand the thought of them thinking i am a "sissy" or a girly boy or anything other than a man that they can be proud of....

Just one other note. WEARING A DRESS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A SISSY. Being a sissy is much much more then putting on a skirt or a dress. Scots wear kilts (skirts), the greeks wear a dress in the military. The asians wear caftans, the africans wear a dress like garment (the name escapes me- sorry). straight men wear skirts, some are major corporate executives, the photos are all the internet just type in the search box men in skirts and you will see that I am not lying.

Trust me, if you talk to your mother she won't laugh at you. She probably already knows but is reluctant to say anything. If you not gay, then tell her you have to talk to her in private. Tell her you are not gay, you just feel different then most boys. Tell her it is not her fault, sometimes things happen in this world we have no control over. Tell her you want to explore these feelings you have been having. Tell her you want to wear dresses or skirts at home, IN YOUR HOME. You said a girlfriend knows, what happens if you get caught where you can't control it (parents show up at the most unexpected times). What do you think will happen then? She will probably think your gay, want a boyfriend, and a whole host of things. <br />
You need to control this, on your terms, where you are most comfortable - IN YOUR HOME-. I know this is a big step, but the longer you keep it bottled up the more harm it will cause. It will not only effect your home life, but at school, places you hangout, people who like you. The sundre of problems then seem to start a life of their own. This life will take you down a very dangerous path. If you can't talk to your parents then please contact a help group. Like I said earlier or will help you sort this out. They are guys like you, young and inexperience. They've been down this road and can help you along it winding ways.

well thanks for the advice guys it helps alot! but idk i know my mom will just laugh and look at me funny if i tell her something like that.. and i think they might know it already but i am scared to do anything.. i hope you guys understand.. i am terrified of the thought of my parents making fun of me because their son likes to wear skirts and he is a sissy. i dont want that happening and the whole family knows about this...

There is another way to let your mother know about it thru the backdoor sort of. You stated your girlfriends know of your dressing in your story. Do they how to sew, if yes, pay close attention. Have your girlfriend come over with a slightly larger dress. She can tell your mother shes taking it in to be hemmed. Then she can ask you if you would help her, so she doesn't have to pay out the money.<br />
you ob<x>ject of course, but relent with her pleading. Go put the dress on in your room, come back where they are, and either step up on a chair for the hemming or let her decide where to do. Have her ask your mother if she would help pin it in place (I'm sure your mom will want to help. girls like these things). Just make sure you remove your pants before you come down stairs. Your girlfriend could say it doesn't hang right with your boxers and suggest panties or pantyhose or tights. Once the ball gets rolling, your girlfriend could make comments how nice you look or with a little make-up you could pass as a girl. Mom will get further involved trust me, next thing you know you will have dresses and skirts hanging in your closet. But be prepared, there are other ways to get you mother involved, Some may even come up while the dress is being pinned.

I agree with bobbie13. I think is better to tell at least your mom, i know its not easy, but i believe she will understand you... Okay, its a hard step, but after it can be much easier. My mom is a very conservative person, she have her own opinion about the world, and some other groups like gays, TS, TV's so on, she never hesitated to sound her opinion, so i decided i not will to tell her... I hiding from the world... But once she caught me in my baby doll at one morning... I told her few things, than we didn't talk about it.... and few year later she caught me on thongs... so we started to talk seriously. I told everything, what i feel, and so on... so at now shes not happy for my crossdressing, but she admit it. So, finally: i think you need to told...

Hi . I know you are young but that has no bearing on what I have to say. First be careful about putting out you e-mail address, there are some pervs on this site. A lot will try to help you explore your feminine side, we all have it even the most macho football pla<x>yer. I believed it is derived from half of your dna coming from your mothers side. I have worn dresses since I was 11 years of age (see my profile & experiences). Today it is mostly skirts. Are you aware you can buy mens or boys skirts at <br /> He custom makes them. He even makes the short mini-skirts for guys like you.<br />
The other thing is talk to your mother, she will still love you no matter what. It will take time but maybe she will let you wear a dress or skirt in your home, maybe even take you shopping later. Trust me keeping it inside of yourself is dangerous and causes severe depression which could lead to a disaster. It almost occured to me. The disaster I am referring to ranges to from self-abuse to suicide.