How can you tell your in love?

I wanna be sure it's love and not attraction, or attachment.
spoonandforks spoonandforks
22-25, F
8 Responses Aug 17, 2014

can you love without any condition, restriction, expectation or demand? If so that is it.

If you have to question it, it's not love.

To be honest, if you have to ask its probably not love. Love is weird, you just KNOW. One day it just falls from the sky and you realize you'd take a bullet for this person, and their happiness is held to the same level as your own. Seems silly, but there's a Regina Spektor song that describes it perfectly:

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hop
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
Then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

sadly, no one can tell you that but yourself. besides, it's more exciting that way. take care!

If it lasts then it is love, you grow in love not fall in love, I think, love takes time and work to maintain but it is worth it. Attraction on the other hand will pass, and you will someday look back at it, and see it as not having been love.

I just wanna skip the whole "look back at it and see it as not having been in love"

My husband and I dated for a long time before getting married, just to make sure that we would stay together, since we both come from divorced families.

I told my guy that, I want to be in a relationship for years and years to be sure it's real.. I was in a fake relationship for basically 2 years with an *******. I thought he was the one I'd spend my life with. Turns out I was infatuated with the IDEA of being in a relationship. So I held in. (attachment). He sucked and was a huge jerk but I convinced myself that I would sacrifice everything to make him happy because again I convinced myself that that's what love is about and what you do for love. I just wanna avoid being in a situation like that again. I guess I wanna learn how to differentiate the two, (real love and attachment)

One thing to consider, how does he make you feel: do you feel better, safer, happier when with him? Do you feel that you are better together than apart? does he bring the best out of you? When you are down, does he help bring you back up, or does he make you feel worse? How about you, do you help him? Also are you willing to accept him the way he is, and not hoping that he will change?

Please read my comments to thatniceguy

2 More Responses

Only you will know for sure.

Please read my previous comments

You know you're in love when you don't have to ask yourself if your in love with that person. You'll know it. There won't be any reason to question it.

You figure sh** out as you go. It is called life