I've been dating this girl for 2 weeks , she is 17 and I'm 19. However... Her parents saw us kiss in the car outside her house . Her dad told me to not see his daughter anymore until she turns 18 ( 8 months away ) but we really really like each other , what should I do !??? Please help 😔
originalpedro originalpedro
22-25, M
20 Responses Aug 20, 2014

I would say to make sure she knows you are not going anywhere or going to accept anyone else, while you honor her fathers wishes. There are ways to keep in touch without dating and actually being alone together. Perhaps try talking to her father, who is by the way doing exactly what fathers are supposed to do. At your ages, its not your age that he is worried about, its both of your hormones going haywire...which by the way is something which at times can be almost impossible to control. She has a phone... You have a phone.... He said NOT SEE HER... He didn't say you could not keep communicating with her. If you really care about her, just keep letting her know she is worth the wait. In this case, time will tell if you both are meant to be together.

Just be careful nextime dude :)

If you "really, really like her then she is worth the 8 months you should wait....and when it comes to matters of the heart 8 months isn't that long. And he didn't say you guys couldn't be friends or talk to each other, so use this time to get to know each other better....Have some long, deep conversations and be connected that way during the time you have to wait to date. And don't forget the little messages to, to let her know that you are thinking about her and texting is great for these kinds of things. Because this will make it easier on her, (if she is an obedient kid she will respect her fathers wishes and do as he says) because otherwise if you were to continue to see each other and her dad did find out it would just make him more angrier and cause him to have a negative opinion or perception of you, which wouldn't be a good way to start a relationship when she is 18 and able. They say "if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be". Be patient and it will all work out as it should.

Respect her father

If you love her then you'll wait until it's okay for her.

You are definitely going to have to kiss up to her dad now, you know that right? To be honest, eight months really isn't a lot of time. At least its not three years away! Definitely use Skype and do group dates where everyone can hang out. You can do it! :)

You should respect the father's wishes and not see his daughter any more.

Of course you need to wait and you should have communication text her or call her everyday. It works promise!!!

Simply wait....this is good ...if this is something that will last then neither of u will die or become strangers in 8 months....plus this is away of showing ur respect to her father. At the end of the 8 months speak with her father before taking his daughter again. It should put him on your side

Tell the dad how u feel

I wouldn't even know how to start the convo

Y can't u

A girl friends dad can be a pretty difficult obstacle. Some daughters wont do anything without their fathers consent. It can be a little challenging.

True

You should probably try and meet him and try to have a stable conversation. Try not to come off as demanding, most dads are looking for their daughters white knight, get him to think your the knight and your in bro.

Yeah guys it's not that easy

Ok

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Be friends for now, via text, phone and meeting up where parents aren't around and whatnot. Refrain from sex and get to know each other. by the way technically if she is consenting (depending on the state) at the age of 16 or above she can have sex/relationship with someone above 18. however you will face extreme amounts of resistance form parents, town and if you do anything sketchy and she isn't seen as a reliable witness you can be put as a sex offender. Fun fact however for others reading this is that if you are a person under the age of 18 dating someone else who is under the age of 18 but you turn 18 first that doesn't mean you magically become a sex offender but can continue to date said person as long as they are above 16 years of age. Knowledge is power ya'll

Yeah I see what you're saying , thanks a lot a lot a lot , really helps man :)

No problem it would be stupid to keep knowledge to yourself right?

Exactly

Don't see her till she's 18 you can get arrested charged with statutory rape felony offense 20 years in prison and be branded as sex offender the rest of your life.

Call dad up and ask if you can come over and hang out or have her ask if you can come to dinner etc

I guess that means she will be legal at 18. He didn't say stay away completely just until she is 18. So just chill and don't do anything rash. Keep it simple and uncomplicated

if your not breaking the law id just stay away from his house and hangout elsewhere. no need to rush things mate.

Yeah but idk if I should risk seeing her elsewhere and we get caught an then never being able to date her or waiting 8 months but then feeling won't be mutual

If its worth keeping it will out last the eight months. You said she really likes you.

Who cares

Lmfao ... I care

F off Pedro

Way to be kind. You get a trophy for most thoughtful and helpful person here, Jacques. Good on you.

Pedro is a pud

lol wtf is up with this?

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Bwahhhhhh

Just gonna label you as a troll and stop feeding you

I would respect him, but it would be hard to do that at least for me because there is no reason for him to say that ****, it's not like he caught you two having sexual intercourse or something.

We were hooking up , and he is a father of 4 girls , the girls I'm dating / want to date is the oldest , he is like super protective , I give him reason for that but ... :/

She is almost 18, I think he needs to get a grip, and realize his daughter is old enough to do these things. for some parents it is hard for them to accept that their child is grown up but their comes a limit where it just becomes controlling. And besides, you weren't doing anything overly bad or anything.

I'd say, don't stop seeing her, but be respectful around her dad, don't kiss her or be overly affectionate act as if you are only friends around her dad... Don't downright deceive her dad... Speaking as a 16 year old girl with an 18 year old boyfriend and a stepdad with over protective dad syndrome...

Plus... I'm in uk... So legal age is 16...

Yeah I'm gonna have to wait till she gets her phone back to get in contact w her again :(

I don't have a phone... It'll be fine :) If she really likes you and wants to be with you, she'll message you or rubbish you as soon as she gets it back. Then you can discuss what to do together :)

Ring*** not rubbish .-.

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Go for it she is basically 18 and her dad can't control her life. Ask her what she thinks

As a father of two girls...I'd say listen to her dad...shes his responsibility. ..not yours....

Yeah I understand . I'm gonna respect him and not date her , but is there a reason why do you think he did that ? I never met him , the relationship was just starting , and I'm the first guy she ever dated so maybe that's why .... Idk :(

It's barely a 2 yr age difference

It's not illegal for them to date it's just illegal for them to have sex and it's not illegal in the state of New York

I'm from jersey :/ haha

There are legal consequences to not waiting...not worth it to be branded as a sex offender and ruin his life over one girl...if shes that great...she'll wait

She may be underage but this boy is within reason of age

Legal speaking..he isn't depending on where he lives. ..plus it's the fathers call

Yeah I know that , if I was a douchebag I would of just moved on to the next girl and say whatever about this girl . But I truly like her , I respect her , like there is no reason for her dad to do that -.-

If you like her stay but if she just a sex reliever you should leave her alone she is still under age and yes I know there is not really a age deference but you two have you hole life in front of you but you and the girl might have a fighting chance to be love birds till the end stay with and wait if its right but respect her fathers Wishes and you both go to collage together and change the mind of the father and get his wishes first and you both are lovers for life but remember that if you dared to try ANYTHING ON THAT LITTLE GIRL YOU WILL BE FACING THE JAIL AND IF YOUR RELIGIOUS YOU WILL BE FACING THE LORD!!! so keep her close BUT keep a distance (P.S tell me how it all worked out keep me updated and good luck). :)

She is definitely not a sex reliever , I genuinely like her .
And yeah I'm just gonna wait till she gets her phone back , so we can talk, then wait 8 months :) but I'm just scared that she can find someone else lol

It's Okay don't get scared and I'm glad your deciding to wait for her :) that says a lot about who YOU are and what SHE means to you try proving to the dad that your worthy of his daughter maybe set up a date where you and the parents are eating together well....just ask the parents over for dinner and do you best maybe just maybe he will how much a good couple you are

There's no blanket answer for your question. I have my reasons for what I allow and have different convictions. He seems very reasonable because by telling you to wait...he's actually protecting you...just talk to her dad...show you respect his authority. ..and be patient. ..it could save you Years of headache

Wow I can't thank you enough , I'm going to take my time and think about what exactly I want to say when we talk , and I'll take it from there

I dated a guy tht was 19 n I'm 15.... I just kept it a secret...

Plus you are jeopardizing yourself legally if you can't wait 8 months...if shes really that great she'll wait for you...if she was my daughter I'd tell you the same. If you can't respect his authority. ..you don't deserve her

I can wait

I do appreciate Everyone here giving advice , my mom said the exact same thing you did but I wanted to hear others opinion . And since you're a father of 2 girls , I will go with what you say . Thank you (:

Good choice:-) she will be so happy that you're respecting his wishes and that you're still going to wait for her. Good luck

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