I Wish People Wouldn't Ask About The Scars

I have been cutting, burning, smashing various body parts since I was 11 years old. I'm now 28 and have quite the stockpile of scars. How do you handle the questions? I really have no reason to cut, it just feels good to me. I had a happy childhood, got my BS degree, am currently getting my Master's degree, but I'm getting tired of life and the cutting is getting worse. I saw my Pa for the first time this last summer and obviously being summer I was in a t-shirt. He asked me what the hell happened...sucks when you have to make up some bullshit story, I told him some of them were from work and others came from hiking and that I just scar easy. He knew that's not what happened and I know it broke his heart, so he didn't say much the rest of the time. I guess it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that most people that cut for a long time just end it, I know I think about it everyday now. I've told one person face to face in my whole life (a guy I thought I was going to marry) and he told me I should talk to God and dumped me two days later. So I have spent the last five years alone because I now know I can't tell anyone. I've thought about seeing a therapist, ,but one I can't afford one and two I think it would be extremely difficult to talk to a stranger face to face about it. Anyways, I'm having a super ****** day and needed to vent so here I am. Reading about why other do it. Hope you all are having a better day than I and good luck.
deadpuppy deadpuppy
26-30, F
2 Responses May 5, 2012

Ha, thanks, wish I had that courage..and thanks for being a willing listener.

I am a very open person I don't hide my scares and if someone asks I tell them. If they don't like it then they can leave. If you ever need to talk ill listen.