I Don't Know.

So we're back to this again. Sometimes I can go so far. So long. I don't think I'll ever really stop. It's an addiction, just like the cigarettes I'm slowly killing myself with. I honestly can't tell you why I do it. I don't know if it's because I like the pain, watching myself bleed, I'm depressed, or I'm angry. I think it might be a mixture of it all. But why am I so depressed and angry? Well I won't bore you with some sob story about how ****** my life is. I have my downs, quite a few actually, especially right now, but I always know that there is someone worse off than me. Plus I hate giving someone the chance to one up me and I hate one uping people whether it be by mistake or not. But anywho, cutting makes me feel good, and sometimes, well most of the time, I feel like I deserve it. You see, I have a very low self esteem. I can't help it. Maybe I've just gotten so used to cutting. I have been doing it ever since I was around 12. It's funny how one can hurt themselves but couldn't hurt another human being, despite how ignorant they are. Well, couldn't hurt another human being physically of course. And you know, I don't push away those who cut for attention. I could never but if you think about it if someone's willing to go to suck great lengths just for attention, something must be wrong somewhere. I mean I won't give them empathy/sympathy but I will give them advice.To be honest, I don't think anyone genuinely cares. And really, I don't know what else to say so I guess I'm done with this one...
morganbee21 morganbee21
18-21, F
May 10, 2012