A Dark Past

Well, i started cutting myself at 15,  i was dealing with a lot of emotional and psychological problems at the time,
i couldnt talk to peopoe about it, because there was no one. I was kicked out of my fathers house, and sent to
live a neighbor and friend of his. I didnt know why, and to top it off we found out he had a tumor in his head,
that was very life threatening. So, i began hurting myself, blaming it all on common accidents. No one ever
knew what i was doing to myself.. Shortly after, my 16th Birthday, i attempted suicide. I was then placed
in a state hospital over 200 miles away from anyone i knew... The cutting however was forced to a stop

At least until last May... My grandfather passed away, and i wasnt allowed to go to his funeral, it hurt
me so bad... My grandfather, was probably the closest person in my life. And, the cutting started up
again.. I had another suicide attempt, i was found unconscious on the bathroom floor, i hit a vein,
rushed to the hospital again.. This time, i was released back to the state's custody, where my
xutting problem has played a great role in my life... I am bipolar, so my mood changes often,
and when i become depressed, i get super-depressed... Stop eating, stop talking, my mood
can greatly affect how i handle myself, more often than not.. its usually in a dumb way...

But yes, that is my story...
zcox115 zcox115
18-21, M
2 Responses May 11, 2012

@RenBean<br />
Yeah, I use dancing alot now... But right now is a hard time for me.... Dance isn't always the thought that first rolls through my head, you know?

Strong emotions need an outlet. <br />
I use dance as mine. Or Yoga. <br />
Most the time when life slaps me in the face I just go for a very, very long walk. <br />
Sometimes we just need to get away. <br />
Just remembering to breathe is a big step sometimes.