My Journey Of Fear

I was a late bloomer with cutting. I started when I was 29 and I am now 39. I can't seem to stop cutting and when I am able to not do it, I obsess majorly. I normally use a razor blade, but I also look at different objects to see how much they could hurt me. I also have issues with drugs, alcohol, PTSD, ADD, depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar. I totally know and accept that I am not unique, but I just can't seem to get a grip on things. I went to a rehab in San Clemente, CA last year. It helped some, but I really want to cut right now. Most people don't know about me and my actions. It's amazing how well the dog and cat excuses work. I just have to remember who I blamed it on that time. I've been a little proud when I didn't want to cut, but man right now I do. I've had a lot of triggers lately with the abuse, the loss of a baby, and just being alone right now. It is so hard to take care of yourself and feel good about yourself when you really don't.
andersongirl1020 andersongirl1020
36-40, F
Sep 18, 2012