Why I Do It...

for me cutting is a way to distract myself from the emotional agony im feeling at that moment.  the physical pain can be so intense that for that period of time all of what i feel inside becomes irrelevant.  i concentrate on the cold slice from the steel.  i think of the lovely red ribbons running down my arm...in that moment im distracted from everything else...but now i have to learn how to get through life without that.  this is the first time that i am trying to really deal with this head on.  it is horribly difficult but one day the blade will go just a little too deep and that would be the end of my life.  i don't want that so i recognize my problem and i will do whatever i have to do to get the help i need...sometimes the kind wordsof friends ease my pain but these days everyone is so caught up in their own issues that they have no time to listen to mine...either that or they just plain don't understand...im desperate at thispoint and feel emotionally drained...

Mmczar26 Mmczar26
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 28, 2009

Please try and stop cutting honey. I know you have sufferred, and may still be suffering, but try and talk to someone about it. Try the Samaritans. You need someone to listen to you and understand you. Have you seen a therapist? You are right to be frightened that you may go too far one day, so try and stop.<br />
May God Bless you.<br />
Love, Lovingangel.xxxxxxxx