10 Years...

Thats how long ive been cutting. I never do it to where im oozing blood. Just until i see that first drop of blood...

I started cutting in junior high school. My step-dad was a drunk, and very abusive. He made me feel like the lowest creature on earth on a daily basis... i felt so low... and i hated those feelings. I started cutting because i wanted to feel something other than emotional pain. The physical pain did that. I could control that pain. I could control when and how much pain i felt that way... and i prefered that pain to the uncontrolled emotional pain.

I have three children now, and i dont cut as much as i used to. I get the urges every once in a while though. Sometimes, ill be doing the dishes and ill just stare at the knives, and the urge comes back...

mommy2jersellaa mommy2jersellaa
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2009

keep fighting that urge. i feel for you.