Through And Through

Through and through. Im wondering how i got friends, how i met them, and lose them in the gradual growth of life in me. I cannot even think of how they love me, how come they still care for me, when i know that i almost forgot them. Those friends who listened to me when they needed a friend, i wasn’t actually that friend they needed. I was not a good friend, neither near that. I was just so unfair, i couldn’t give back goodness. Till now, i don’t know why.
I had friends. We laughed till we cried, but today we forgot to say Hi. They’re now so far from me, having new friends, new confidants, new that replaced me. I am not mad. Maybe,It has to happen-to separate ways.

Things change, so do people, the commitments ,and roles. They have changed, either have i.

The people i said i wont forget. Friends i promised to keep in contact. Friends i told i love them. Now they faded in my list. The people who had been heroes in my past are now really in the past. Before, our friendship couldnt be stopped. Even declared forever with each other. Did i lose them? Did they lose me? I don’t know. All i know is that my friends were given because God let it. I couldn’t have them just because of me, myself, and i. I cannot have those people i am texting with, talking with, crying with, laughing with, if it is merely because of my own efforts putting them all together in my life.

If God didn’t let His Grace be with me. If God didn’t even think that i would be very sad without friends. If God didn’t even care that no one could be my friend if it would be just between me and my ego. I wont be able to live today the life He wants me to live. He knew what was needed to do. He loves me so much and He knows how to love me. He knows i need Grace.

Yes, through and through,what i have and what i am is because of His Grace <3
everyonetoknow everyonetoknow
22-25, F
Dec 6, 2012