My Biggest Secret

Alrightyyy...so I've never written this down on paper or told anyone this before, so this is kind of a big deal for me. I am a young adult female that's attracted to amputees. I hate the word devotee. And I get really ashamed by this fetish, but it totally takes over me. Sometimes i just want to scream "amputee!" because that word is all cooped up inside of my head. I'm a really laid back person, and I know no one would ever expect it if I told them about my fetish, but it's just something that I could never tell anyone. i have awesome friends who are some of the most open and accepting people in the world, but i think me confessing this would just be too much. I think my mom knows because she's a creeper and always checked what I was doing online as a kid and I think she saw my web "history" of me looking up pictures of amputees...she asked once what I looked at online, and I got really red in the face and said "nothing cool" and walked away, and it hasn't been brought up since. but i think she knows...
also, i don't want to be seen as a freak or disgusting - i already think that of myself too much. especially because of how overtly sexualized and aggressive i've seen the devotee community act -- like with comments on public videos online and other places. they're relentless and often have no bother about the emotions and privacy of some amputees -- like the ones who aren't putting themselves out there to be exploited in a sexual manner. uggh...it makes me think that i'm even more alone in an already isolated world or fetishism. is there anyone out there with an amputee fetish that isn't a total creep who follows amputees around with video cameras or makes lewd comments on unsuspecting amputees videos? i'm a really respectful and considerate person...who's happiest when others are....and i'd love to be a part of an amputee's life romantically, but never would i ever make them feel exploited or loved only because of their disability. it's about the whole package.

whewwww i'm glad i got all of that out! that all was the worst part..and i guess now -- onto what i'm into: i'm bisexual so both men and women amputees turn me on. and i'm primarily attracted to leg amputees, with longer stumps (LAK or RAK), without prostheses, using crutches, and i'm a fan of empty pant legs rolled up just a little bit, or made into a knot right under the amputation. i also like DAKs who move around on their hands and dont use their prostheses, and sometimes arm amputees and pretenders of any kind.

i have no idea how i became attracted to amputees, but reading about it, it seems we all had some sort of encounter with an amputee when we were young and it stuck with us....hah wow, we humans are certainly an interesting species.

wow! i can't believe i've written all of that. what a wonderful release!
please message me if you have any comments or feelings.

cellardoor22 cellardoor22
26-30, F
10 Responses Nov 26, 2012

You're specifically saying it's about the whole package, so you're probably ok. ;) I use crutches for long distance and don't walk easily, though I'm not an amputee, I'm not unfriendly toward devs either.

Is it only amputees you are attracted to? ( asking as a woman with CP)

I'm also a young adult who is attracted to amputees. I've always been ashamed of it and kept it a secret because I didn't think anyone would understand. I always knew it was strange and I didn't want people thinking I was a weirdo. Then, after I found out about devotees and their bad reputation, and saw for myself how creepy some of them are and how offensive they act towards amputee women, I definitely don't want to be associated with that group of people. I know exactly how you feel. I think about amputee women all the time. When I'm out in public I'm hoping that I'll see one. I constantly think about how much I would love to meet and date a woman that's missing a limb or two. I've never been able to figure out why I have this attraction, but the sight of an attractive amputee turns me on more than anything else in the world. Just knowing that I have this strange fetish makes me feel like a creep, but I've never followed an amputee around or taken any secret pictures of anyone, and I don't communicate with or harass people online so I guess I'm not too much of one. Anyway, it's nice to know that there's someone like you out there. The majority of devotees I come across are old men. I don't hear about many in my age group and I almost never hear about any females. But that's just what I see online. You're actually the first girl around my age that I've known about. It's good to know you exist.

Its not that creepy. Its just a attraction I've had this attraction since I was really little. Idobt know why or how but its there. You just have a this attraction. I think when I was little I had a teacher who had one hand in elementary school I think that as i grew older I got more interested in it I look at it as a gift something something to offer woman who need someone to love them for who they are

My wife and I were very happily married before my accident. I was scared that everything would change when I became disabled-- it didn't, things got amazingly better! After discussing it with her therapist and a little internet exploration, she came to the conclusion that she's a devotee. "Our" discovery had nothing to do with my accident happening, but its made the results more bearable as far as I'm concerned; our relationship is every bit as intense and passionate as it was before.

I was concerned with becoming a "freak" (for lack of a better word), when I was first injured. Understanding that people would stare came with the territory, and I was scared that it would make her even more uncomfortable than it did me. How wrong I was! Its as if she captured her own unicorn.

I am only recently realizing that it's not a "freakish" thing to be a devotee (a word itself I've only found out in the past month).
I am extremely turned on by folks with cerebral palsy. I have no idea why. It's good to get it out and have just recently began "coming out" to a few of my closest friends.
Any advice on how to safely and consensually get these desires met?

I have never intentionally attempted to interact with any disabled individuals in person. Remember, there is a person attached to the disability, no different than anybody else. You may try on a strictly social level to start with, with no other intention. My understanding from what I have read over the years is that many people with disabilities are not dev. friendly, although they are friendly!

For myself I drew the line many years ago not to seek a romantic partner with a disability (RAK) or any other as I would never be sure as to what my true motives are and may end up with somebody I would not be interested in any way other than the disability. Good luck.

I did send a message to an operator of a devotee targeted website many years ago asking if it was known what had happened with another well know website that had disappeared. The response (written) cause red flags to go up with the choice of words used when referring to one of the partners involved with the web site. It was not malicious, not aimed at me personally, but I kind of got a chill thinking if this was an indication of how this person really felt about devotees. See what I mean?

I'm not a strongly sexual person, but otherwise I actually don't mind people approaching me as a curious devotee, although some act like they're starving and out of their minds, unable to socialize normally, which is obviously a problem.
At least around devs who like guys on crutches, it's one less thing I have to be anxious about.

You are among friends here. I always proceed with caution, cover my tracks. There are just too many out there who can/will not ever understand.

Cellardoor22: I completely get what you're saying, and the difficulties you've had. I'm 52, and had these feelings my whole life, though I can't remember any amputee encounters. I've never actually met one. It's so unfortunate that there are so many creeps in the dev world that have gone far towards ruining the scene for everybody. I'm a kind, compassionate person who would love the opportunity at a romantic relationship with a DAK; though I'm becoming more certain that it will never happen. Would that the internet had been around when I was in my 20's, with the time and opportunities to meet people. I hope such a thing can happen for you. I think the odds are more in your favor, as I think there are many more male amps, and much fewer female devs; as opposed to the opposite.

Hi cellardoor22
Love your story,I fully understand what you are talking about,thanks for the internet to help us understand each others attraction. I have the same feelings as you and many others do,having these attractions for fifty plus years they are here to stay. I enjoy pretending to be an leg amputee out in public on my crutches or wheelchair,this brings relief too everyday pressures trying to survive in this crazy world.
les1

hi. i have cerebral palsy and i feel my life would be better if i had a devotee. i am 55, never had anyone to love me, and i want to be loved so bad but i am not sure i can be loved, but i do and need more then friendships. i want to feel someones body next to mine so bad, but i don't have the abiably to "please" all a woman needs and wants. so if there is a woman of there please contack me.

I am pretty much in the same boat as you with everything you said, except i dont rember having interactions with an amputee as a youngster and i dont think you want to become an amputee and i do. But i also really dislike the overly aggressive devotees. I feel they have ruined it for people like me who now feel ashamed and dont want to be lumped into there group because of their behaviour. I also feel that i can not now approach a female amputee to potentially get to know them and start a relationship if things work out because i will be seen as a perv.... very frustrating

ahh it's so good to know there's other people out there that feel the same way and aren't creepers too. just weird like me :)