Here's Me

I am a very difficult person to understand....for most. I have met my mental twins a few times, I'm not THAT complicated. But I do believe it is safe to say *I* am an acquired taste. I can be summarized as a walking contradiction. I like to think I am not as shallow as most or as hollow. I am in actuality a very sensitive person, not overly sensitive but sensitive nonetheless, enough. Literally no one knows this, I show that side to no one, not even myself. I prefer not to talk about or show emotion because I have so much bottled up I must day...that's what I say to myself...and it's just not enjoyable, trust me. Doesn't mean I don't have it though. I have some times when I just want to watch the world burn and do my best to contribute to that but other times...I am devastated to even read or view all of this just ****** up **** and just want to heal the world. Some days I am fairly arrogant, other days very self-loathing. I often make the mistake of assuming I am an intellectual. There's also a lot of miscommunication...people assume too much. A lot sadly assume I don't like them..when I do but it's just complicated to explain.... Another thing is I am not very enthusiastic. Ever. Which leads people to believe I am ungrateful...which again isn't true. I just don't show enthusiasm. I could win the ******* lottery and keep composure. It's just me. I am very very introverted and quiet, non out-going. I observe everything at all times, extremely analytical. I am unfortunately brutally honest. I just value honesty, I get a lot of flack for it. I don't really spare feelings unless it's a broken person...My philosophy on life is live for what you love, free your mind and express and as much as you can do something out the norm, doesn't hurt to annoy people either, especially imbeciles. I have a low tolerancy for asinine bullshit. Therefore most people I can only be around for about...a minute. At best, tops 2.  I over explain myself ALWAYS. I don't want to offend anyone unintentionally....EVER. I really am just anal about that sometimes...

I don't like to define myself by what's wrong with me and I hate vulnerability...but at the same time I am not exactly unhappy. No one can seem to understand a cynical person can be content. People often associate me with being pessimistic...that's not true at all. I represent all sides. I acknowledge both the good and bad attributes of existence, things, events and people. Another thing is I sometimes just don't all. What to do, what to think or to feel...Many believe I am pretentious simply because I have a rather established vocabulary. It's funny because I don't have any real education, I am pretty much self-educated...on everything. I just utterly adore words and the English language. I don't take compliments well and insults don't faze me is another thing...Eventually unless I thoroughly love you I do want you to go away. Not forever. Just temporarily periodically. I prefer isolation most of the time...doesn't mean I don't value you...or anything. I just value time in my mind. I can be very insensitive...and either due to ignorance or the fact I will hurt someone's feelings if it makes a good joke. Sorry. I have joked about everything at least once...certain jokes guilt ridden me but I still do them. If I'm sick enough to think it I am sick enough to say it. But I will never be able to express how empathetic and compassionate I truly am...

I just believe in freedom...freedom of expression, freedom of thought and freedom of speech. Not limited AT ALL. But again...I am not evil. I don't really prefer dreams to reality. My logic preference often is annoying. I am EXTREMELY passionate in everything...I get IN to it. Therefore I rant and ramble very consistently., sometimes the words form quicker than I can verbalize or vice versa I have an opinion for EVERYTHING. I dig pot-head conversation but I'm not one like..."What if everything was nothing would there be anything, man?"I am not intolerant, I simply have no time for bullshit. I swear a helps me emphasize, express and cope. I believe murder can be justified. Few cases but nonethelss...

 I really am just real...I don't really try to be anything and don't boast about what I am. I don't feel like I am an accomplishment...I had no say in who I was going to be..I was born, man. That's it. You get what you get. I care about a lot of things but at the same time couldn't care less. I can be very passionate about the heavy subject such as religion and politics but at the same time not care at all seeing as I believe all discussion to be futile. I don't try to change people and take them as they are. Meaning...just because you don't agree with what that person did does not mean I won't. Society does not rule my ******* preference and judgement! I really don't do a damn thing but do nothing and think. That's it. Do nothing, think and play music. That's it. And I'm damn happy doing it too!
deleted deleted
5 Responses Jan 20, 2013

I can relate to many of the things you said, yet at the same time there are a lot of things I can't relate to.

So judging by what I've read I'd say we have some things in common, yet we're also very different people.

I feel like I just took a bite of you.

... it tastes familiar, but at the same time somewhat new.

What exactly do you mean by saying that you are self-educated?

So you didn't finish high school? Or did you never even go there? Why is that?

We're pretty insane aren't we :)

The lamb is noodle splits.

The fruit bats are floaty.

Ye are real alright, proper inspiration

Just the truth, few are like you

Get out of my head!

Must be cramped and smells of beer and ale in there :O

And smoke

lmao safety hazard anyone?