I Feel Like My Brain Is Rotten.

I'm not sure how else to explain it other than I seriously feel like I have rotten Army brain.

I was not deployed. I did the first half of my SRP, took my kids home to meet my parents and when I returned to do the second half of my SRP I found out I was pregnant. I was ready to deploy, I wanted to and someone else had to go in my place. I'm thankful nothing happened to her. My wartime mission, 2+ years before deployment even came up was at an MRE plant.

I didn't have incredibly high stress jobs. I was a food inspector and a lab tech. Yes, I worked STAT lab with insane revolving door shifts but I don't think it had that big of an impact on my mental well being. Except for the sleep deprivation...that's done a number on me.

My husband and I were dual military and about 8 months after my child was born, my family care plan took a dump on me and moved "back home". DH was higher ranking than I was so I ended my career. I was planning on retiring at the ripe old age of 37. Dreams were ruined and on my way out I was diagnosed with "failure to adapt."

Now there are days that I feel like I can handle NO STRESS. Most days I'm ok, and the rest, well my brain just won't work right. I don't remember details that I would on other days, I forget how to do routine things. It's rotten, that's all there is to it.

I haven't been able to really keep a job. The way civilians speak and their lack of work ethic and urgency drives me insane. On the flip side, I prepared taxes for a season and evidently couldn't identify when I was working with "difficult" clients. When it got to the point where I just couldn't explain the rhetoric any other way and had to get the owner of the establishment I was often told I could have given a heads up that the client was a B; or other employees would comment that I have more patience than they do.

Now I'm back in school. It's been over 10 years since I've been in this scenario. I feel like I have a rotten brain and I'm losing my footing. Does anyone else share this feeling? What do you do to overcome it?
itscctoyou itscctoyou
Sep 5, 2012