For All My Ep Friends Who Are ...

Especially WinterMountian who wrote the article that enlighten me on this subject. i hope all of you Domestic Engineers friends of mine enjoy this little article.

 

http://www.gomestic.com/Homemaking/How-to-Be-a-Domestic-Engineer.32545

 

How to Be a Domestic Engineer A tongue-in-cheek look at homemaking for a family.

If you're at home with children or working in a “virtual office,” you're also a Domestic Engineer. Here are some tips for success in this new role.

  • You want to keep the place in order. If your children are fans of superheroes that bring order to the Universe, you're in luck. Tell your kids their heroes began by bringing order to their rooms. Teach kids it's “cool” to pick up after yourself. If it works, try it on your spouse. If that works, patent it and you'll be a millionaire.

  • You may also have some gardening duties. You can easily eliminate yard raking by burning the leaves before they fall. If you don't want an unsightly backyard compost, many people achieve the same degree of controlled decomposition in their refrigerator crispers. If you have house plants, talk to the live ones and lie to the artificial ones. You can relieve stress by watering plants… With a squirt gun. Also, you'll probably want to choose a dining room décor that compliments spaghetti sauce.

  • You're probably also in charge of household cash flow, which can be increased by allowing neighbors to reclaim borrowed items via a garage sale. Take advantage of savings by clipping coupons, preferably before the paper's served to house-train a puppy. Shop at a grocery store that offers choice of paper or plastic - Not just bags, I mean to pay as well. If your kids tend to scoop your loose change, hide it in the laundry hamper. Kids have a complex concept of mortality; they think they're invincible till they go to the mall. Then they think they'll die without $120 cross trainers.

  • Buy Halloween candy in red and green wrappers so no questions are raised when the leftovers become stocking stuffers. You can also conserve energy and build trust by bathing with your pets.

  • Colors and whites should be washed separately, but silverware can be washed with everything. Cut down on dishes by having the family eat over the sink. It's something you can all do together. When time doesn't permit a sensible lunch, try “chicken noodle coffee.” By the way, the paper shredder can double as a coleslaw cutter. Never ask questions when both leftover pet food and crackers disappear.

  • You're also in charge of discipline. You can keep teenagers in line by threatening to sew the knees back in their jeans. Let them catch you listening… No, dancing to their CDs just to keep them on their toes. Remember that kids confined to a bedroom with a computer can still communicate with the free world. Also from time to time you'll need to remind all kids that “throw pillow” is just a figure of speech. The good news about being home with toddlers is you have an excellent chance of hearing their first words; the bad news is they may very well learn those words from cable TV.

  • At the end of the day, you'll want to relax. You may choose to watch some television. It may be catching up on taped daytime shows. To remain efficient as a Domestic Engineer, you'll probably want to limit the number of shows you follow to about twelve.

Or maybe you unwind with something as simple as a bowl of grapes… In front of the microwave, exploding them one by one.

 

 

 

Domestic Engineer.   Domestic Goddess.    One and All!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Josie06 Josie06
56-60, F
6 Responses Mar 11, 2009

I have the Hiccups from laughing so hard!

HaHa<br />
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I wish!!! My hubby sure would be happy if I cleaned house like that! LOL<br />
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I remember one time, I cleaned the house naked! Just for ***** and giggles!! ROTFL

this is great. thank you for the smile today.

Glad you liked it. Graphics are by Google search.<br><br />
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WM, isn't it the sparkling Lady sweeping that looks most like you? '-)

HaHa I agree! Where do you get all these cool graphics?<br />
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You Rock Josie!! :)<br />
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Hip Hip Hooray for all the Domestic Goddesses here on EP!! I salute you!<br />
<br />
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P.S. The other day I put my husband's dog in the shower with him! <br />
It was too cold outside to bathe him and he stank bad! <br />
I told my hubby, "Hey, you wanted him, you get to wash him!" ROTFL<br />
<br />
.........maybe I should be called the Domestic Queen and everyone in my house are my subjects! LOL<br />
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What a sight that was! Hahahaha

You are so funny, where do you find this stuff?