For New And Unsure Doms Looking For Help!

i am a submissive female in a long and happy realtionship with my Husband/ Master. Recently He was approached by a Man who wanted to learn more about this lifestyle as He didn't know who to turn to for advice. Today i noticed another Man with Dominant urges who was unsure how to proceed and approach his girlfriend had sought advice on this site. i wrote and posted this reponse for Him which i would like to now share here to help any of you who find yourself in a similar position to these two Men. Please remember that this was tailored to one idividual and so not be completely appropriate for your situation at all times, but i hope it proves helpful nonetheless. my Master and/or i would be more than willing to answer any questions any of you have (this goes for the submissive women as well). Thank you.
P.S. i am not sure if i have posted this in an appropriate section. Please feel free to guide me to somewhere more suited if you feel it necessary.

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i am one of those girls that you loves to be dominated, but i must warn you that this is not true of all women so you must not just assume that she will automatically like this sort of thing. If it does not appeal to her leave it as otherwise you could be bordering on abuse. You may be able to get some sort of idea of whether or not your girlfriend is naturally submissive by observing her every day behaviour. For example wait until she has just sat down and then ask her to fetch you a drink. See if she has a natural desire to want to please you. Ask her to run you a bath and bathe you etc. I am sure you can come up with things that will be appropriate and pleasing for you both. If your girlfriend likes to indulge you in such things she may well be submissively inclined (BE WARNED: this isn't guaranteed!) and you can then approach her with your desire to dominate her.

There are many different aspects to domination (is this to be just in the bedroom, the home or 24/7?) so you need to do some research, consider all the options and really think it through. That way when you approach her you will have a clear ides of what you want to achieve and will be able to answer any questions she might have. You should only be approaching her if you genuinely feel she will enjoy being submissive and so as the dominant male should now be confident to tell her that this is something you want to try. Explain to her that appreciate her considering it as it will strengthen you bond throught the trust and devotion you will share. If your wife is even slightly submissive then it is likely she will at least consider it or wan't to try it out. BUT bear in mind that if she is reluctant or doesn't share your interests you need to drop it and may have to decide what is most important to you in the long run.

Now for the other issue: spanking. There are two types of spanking that you could be refering to: spanking for a sexual purose and spanking for discipline. No matter what the purpose, to see if things such as spanking appeal to her first start off with playful spankings. This will allow you to understand her feelings on the matter and a joking manner will make it easier to first come out with it. You can then build up to more serious spankings for discipline or sexual gratification etc. When spanking or being involved in an other dominating situation where you girlfriend has submitted to you MAKE SURE SHE HAS A SAFEWORD!!!! The most common system for this is to use red for 'stop' and yellow for 'wait a moment', but you could use pretty much anything. It does however need to be something that would not be a common exxclamation in a sexual scene to avoid confusion (for example 'God..no...please don't...stop' may escape your girlfriends mouth when she actually means something else entirely ;) !). Also always make sure that spankings are done in a controled environment and in a loving manner. Never out of anger-- you are likely to then go over the top with the punishment and this will not encourage correction, just resentment.

i hope this helps and please feel free to ask me any more questions. my Master and i would be more than happy to help you in approaching your girlfriend and also as you begin you journey of domination if she says yes. i will just leave you with this last bit of advice from my Master: If she is willing to submit to you please remember that such a position demands your utmost respect, do not do this out of some sort of power trip. As a Dominant everything done to or for your submissive must be done with her in mind. Rules are for her benefit, chastisement for her betterment and pleasure so she is never in doubt of your complete devotion to her. Most importantly keep it SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL!
katieslave katieslave
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 13, 2010

hello i actualy was wondering were i could go to finde a dom i am very new to the D/s worl and so i am unsure were to look