As I Ask Myself...

Who are you really?

What is it that you are doing?


Who are you to think that this fantasy called happily ever after really exists? If it does exist, perhaps it is only in the confines of your dreamy mind.  A place to visit upon shallow day dreams and nostalgic reflections, where time and space become one as your mind turns all the past memories into a beautiful thing.  Casting hope’s shadow over the pain of the past, a golden shadow that always makes your memories seem so beautiful.

You know this.  How the mind plays tricks.  You also know that no one has the power to make you happy, ever really truly happy.  Nor could you make them.  There is something deep inside you, yes inside of everyone that will always, always long for something more, so much more then just….this.  

Not that life and love are not beautiful, maybe this is as close to heaven as we can be for now,  maybe this is as close as we can get, this side of eternity, to perfection.  

Maybe time was created as a place to leave the failures of the past.  

Maybe….






Please tell me.  What should I do, is it time to leave this in the past?  Or is the future really as golden as the light that I see shining there.  

Leave my doubts in the past, my fears chained, a prisoner of time.  Only please, do not keep me a slave to my fears.  I only want to know, am I chained to my fantasy, or is this enough to break the clouded sky.  


Please tell me what I am to do.  I watch the sky, I want to be there, at the edge of freedom, in that place where the sunlight warms the distant hills.  But if a mountain is most beautiful from far away, then how can I know that once I reach there, it wont have slipped away, a rainbow fading with the moment.  Love, please cast your shadow on me.  Hope feels eternal, but once the pinnacle is reached, I fear I will find, that it too has ended, and given way to something else, something unknown…

It isn’t hope…it isn’t faith….

Do I dare to believe it is love?