I'm Losing It

I was always a big dreamer.  I dreamed up big adventures and meaningful experiences.  I constantly found myself daydreaming all day.  After my last relationship ended, however, I find myself numb.   No more dreams, no more feelings.  It hurts to dream now ever since they were shattered that one day.  It makes me sad to think of how much I've lost touch with the one of the things that made me so happy while I was growing up: my dreams.  Now, I have a hard time creating those pictures in my head that show everything I want in life, because it hurts.  It hurts to create those visions and think that it could break my heart again or might never come true.  I want it back, and I want to believe that I will be able to feel again and that my dreams will one day come true.  

Dreamzer8 Dreamzer8
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 2, 2010

here's a cliche line, "time will heal all wounds." i've always hated that quote or anybody that gave me advice along those lines because it always sounded to me as a irresponsible statement and that the person giving the advice will not actually help you. however, after much contemplation and probably my own fair share of struggling i have come to the conclusion it is actually sound advice. but it is only sound advice if make something of that time. keeping to yourself and staying in a prison many of us call our room is not a wise way to spend it. now that you have fallen down and desire to pick yourself back you, break the chains loneliness, and tear down the boundaries of reality. and the only people that can do that are the dreamers. fortunately, you are one. or else you wouldn't be here (and i mean that in more ways than just one). remember who you ARE and who you WANT to be and become that ideal. whether that be climing mountains and jumping rooftops or just simply leaving your room spending time with the friends you have or the friends-to-be do something that resembles the dreams you used to have. if you do that, i can guarantee you that you will be able to dream again, but more importantly, you might end up living the dream. <br />
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here's a small quote that cheered me up from the disney movie of Atlantis<br />
<br />
"Of course, it's been my experience, when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up."<br />
-Dr. Sweet

i'm sorry that someone "stole" your dreams by hurting you...letting you believe that life is miserable and you cannot win. this could not be further from the truth. maybe try visualizing what you want or where you want to be in your mind...let the randomness take over...

Thank you for that. What you said makes a lot sense. My dreams are one of the ways I identify myself, and it's like I don't recognize myself now that I don't have them. I want to bring down that wall so that I can find myself again and be happy.

[hugs] i wonder if maybe "embracing" the hurt will make way for you to dream once again. your dreams lie underneath all that pain, they are there, waiting to be rediscovered again. or maybe they've evolved such as you have and you no longer recognize them...i don't know.