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Actually A Disappointed Dreamer

When I was in my teens, I had enormous amounts of beliefs and expectations. I developed a powerful fantasy life, fed by books, sports, films and other kinds of popular culture. I believed I could possibly do anything. Nothing and nobody could bring me down! All it took was the right mindset and a passionate “I will and I can attitude”. Gradually with time, it has become increasingly difficult to reconcile my fantasy life with reality, and so I am often disappointed by what they get. I have had a very idealistic view of life where anything is possible but what I come across is..... and the petty weaknesses of everyday life. But at this point I may have to force myself to compromise, because otherwise I would have to spend my life feeling cheated. I just want to be happy you know. They say you have to accept what life throws your way. But the Truth is, sometimes for a hard headed dreamy idealist like me, this is a near impossible thing to understand and beneath the surface I am bitter and still hungering for something grand than reality. So even now that I'm a grown up 22 year old, these beliefs still prevail in me. That is why I still have a lot of expectations about my own life. About people... About things... Many things. And I'm not ready to give up on what I have been wishing for.
PeterYeah PeterYeah 18-21, M Jan 16, 2012

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