I Am Not Me Anymore

My Life Forever Changed At Age 11 A Nightmare I Re-live Often, (I Learned Then Love Is A LIE) From That Moment On I Begin Searching For Something Deep Inside, Smiling On The OutSide While Hurting Within.... At 15 I Gave What Was Left Of Me Away Thinking It Would Help Take Some Of The Pain Away But I Was Young Not Knowing What Lies Ahead (4yrs) Got My Heartbroken Instead.... Why Me I Ask?? Whats Wrong With Me?? Kept Wishing I Was Someone New, The Bitterness Took Over & I Hurt A Few People, With Guilt Still Heavy On My Heart.... So Much Going On Inside Not Able To Put in Words I Pushed Everyone Away (Empty Inside) Still Passinate On What I Loned For Inside I Thought I Found My Angel SomeOne Who Understands Me & My Pain Inside... Alot Of Wrong Decisions/Mistakes I Did Revealed It Was Just The Devil In Desguise.... Trying To Correct Any Hurt I Brought Upon (My Angel In Desguise) With A Hidden Agenda Sent Me On A Path Of Destruction That Will Forever Follow Me But All I Wanted Was To Give Our Baby The Life I Never Had.... Love At First Sight It Was So Much Deeper Then That I Want The Best For Her But My Past Hold Me Back.... I Want Nothing More Then To Protect Her, Love & Spoil Her But With 10$ Saved How & The H*#l Will I Do That?? She Makes Me Want To Be Better/Do Better But No-One Will Give Me A Chance If I Knew My Mistakes/Decisions Had An Effect On Her Life Oh How Things Would Be Ever So Different!! Im In A Tunnel Of Darkness And She Is My Light!! Dreaming Of A Plan For Her & I
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May 10, 2012