Im A ****** Drug Addict

im not gonna write a whole big lfie story, jsut the jist

i started smoking ciggarettes aaroudn 12, but not inhalin then i sotpped. then i started drinking kind of. then i started smoking again, i found my aunts pakcet of cigarettes then i stole a packet of my mums. this started me on the road to hash that boys were smokin in school. me and my freinds got a quarter but had no pipe so we just kind of put it on a beer can and lit it, inhaling the smoke. i laughed so ahrd, and i used to get bullied but then the sadness form that left me and i laughed and laughed. i must have got a kind of psychosis because everyone called me a stoner thinking i was always high when i wasnt. from there i started growning weed and smoked a whole 30 plants up by myself. and i started doing a couple of extacy around then too, which worsened my mental health. only like 4 times have i done es. but the first time i felt soo good, trippin seein visuals i thought i had arrived! but then things went horribly wrong and i was shoutin at my friend on them . where was the love? i got into smokin hash and grass full time, and drinking all the time, and then magic mushrooms. tea everyday for a couple of weeks sufficed to **** my head up, buyt i dint know it was ******. before taht i had started gettin paranoid too thinkin my friends were alughing at me and ****, but then my friend was doin coke. we bought a hot car and drove around doin coke in it. one night these madmen were throwing **** at us form a van and jumped out at the petrol station and kicked the rear view off and hit me and my friend because we were trying to run them off the road. so we got into monkey madness, methodrone. this **** sent me bonkers. i was at it all the time and i thought it was ashes from lucifers tomb. i believed that it was the drug of the revolution, that it fryed the signals that were keeping us subdued so we didnt break out into riots. then i ended up in the psychiatric hospital because my mind was just gone. full blown spychosis. i cant esacape drugs now, because i have to take anti depressant s to be happy, after ath whole ordeal, and anti psychotics to stop me going crazy again. so theyve trapped me, its not looking good people! but i espaced form the psychiatric hospital cuz it was shite in there, horrible! they said its okay as long as i take my medication. so i goto alcoholics and narcotics annonymous now because if i take another drug i will go crazy for life, but if not, i can come off the anti spychoitics soon cecause i will be better. so i take it one day at a time. i was 40 days clean and relapsed at a music festival on drink. but other than taht its been smooth sailing.i know ill never do drugs again because i cant afford to, but its good that i am off them because i am finding out that all the insecurities that bothered me up to now dont even matter! my life is about to get way ****** better like, so im gettin happier all the time. this time next year i can start searching for the one, and building my life, makin music and writing books. peace
mcfreestate mcfreestate
18-21, M
Jul 26, 2010