Escape

For me, Fanfiction was an escape. An escape from friends, from family, but especially from school. I had been having a lot of trouble keeping up with assignments, and was barely passing with a B in most classes. Though that sounds good for a lot of people, it wasn't for me, my friends, my peers or my family. It didn't help that I was living in the shadow of my Older brother who was a straight A student and from my point of view, the perfect son. Neither did my friends complaining about getting 95% on their test when i had just failed it! But fanfiction was the one thing i could count on. I have been reading it for almost four years now, and my hobby has now takin on an obsession. The only way I can get through the day is to either write about my latest Dramione Shipping or read a Glee fic that i had printed out that morning. 

I remember that i was on Quizilla, looking at truth or dare quizes based around Harry Potter. I found one that was a story (Draco/Hermione) instead and i started reading it. I was instantly infatuated. I spend hours reading everything i could on that site till nothing interesting was left. The minute I googled Harry Potter Fanfiction, it was over. My freedom was gone.

To this day, as seen on my profile on fanfiction.net, I read stories in over 37 subjects plus 11 crossovers, I am in love with 60 fictional men, and I have been and am currently obsessed with over 115 shippings (relationships). I have over 1,000 stories on my story alert list, and I will, on average, read roughly between 10-20 stories a day. I found Fan Fiction 4 years ago and to this day, I cannot control myself.

My friends and family do not understand the pull this has on me. It has created a gap between us and made me only bury myself into my Fan Fiction even more. I only have a couple people who truly understand what I am going through, but I don't believe they use it as an escape like I do. 

Fan fiction is like cutting, drugs, or alcohol. Every story you read is a release. Every good review on your own fic puts you on that special high. After a crappy day, all you want to do is sit down, forget reality and drown yourself in the world of fan fiction. 

Fan Fiction is a Knife
Fan Fiction is a Drug
Fan Fiction is a Bottle

I need help
InsanelySirius InsanelySirius
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 15, 2011

Hey. I feel the same way at the moment. I really want to stop reading fanfiction. I have tried to limit my time reading it but as soon as I feel stressed I binge read. Mt fanfiction addition is getting out of control; it interferes with university, studying and socialising. The more I read the better I feel but as soon as I stop the guilt and pressure of real life come crashing down. I can't cope with that so I go back to reading more fan fiction. I would really like to know more about how you stopped .Also like you said, it is hard to talk to people about. It doesn't feel like a valid problem and I haven't even told anyone I read fanfiction let alone that I am addicted to it. I would love to just talk to you about getting fanfiction addiction under control.

I saw your post earlier today -- and I wanted to know, do you still read fanfiction? Has that changed in the two years since you wrote this post?

I'm struggling with it myself; I started reading when I was 8 years old, and I'm nearly 20 now, with about 5 serious fandoms in that span of time. I'm trying to go cold turkey right now, and I actually just started an addiction tracker on MedHealth.

Let me know if you want to talk about it. Obviously I'm not out of the woods myself, but I'd like to help if I can.

Hi hallucinatingdreams!
I am so glad you made that comment. So few people understand that this *is* something you can get addicted to! I am so impressed with your commitment to be healthier; I know I never had the self control to go "cold turkey".
To answer your question, I am still reading fanfiction, but in a much more controlled and healthy amount. Granted, I still read almost every day, but the driving need to find new stories has dissipated. I believe there were a lot of factors that came into my recovery. While I did eventual find a good balance, I lost a lot on the way and even resorted to a more harmful addiction without even realizing it. However, I am overall doing better and even though I still have my ups and downs, I think it'll all work out.

I realize this is a little late after your post, but I would love to talk to you more! Whether you want to just chat or if there's anything I could do to help, I'll be here :)

If you're interested, Fan Fiction Addicts Anonymous (FFAA) is a support group where you can discuss your struggles with fan fiction addiction. It could be a good place to talk - and a good start to recovery. =D<br />
<br />
http://fanficaddictsanonymous.webs.com/

I write Harry Potter, General Hospital, Charmed and NCIS fan fiction. Started back in 2000 before I even knew what fan fiction was. It was the way to pass a slow weekend at work when I couldn't wait until the next episode of GH came on lol. Today I was at the hospital sitting with someone and got ideas which wasn't a bad things since I always carry a notebook for when I have time to work or get ideas too.

I totally understand and I can relate in a lot of ways ! For me it started last summer and I can't spend a day without reading fanfiction since. But don't try to look everything in a bad point view. What I did when I realized it was getting out of control was to try to follow a strict program. I said to myself that I'm not going to read before I finish this or that task, or I'm going to have 5-minute or 1-chapter breaks every 1 or 2 hours. Also try to go out more with friends and family, it's a really good way to forget it for a while.