Ruining My Life

I've been addicted to fanfiction for around 5 almost 6 years now and I've realized that I have to stop.I have no social life,no job,and no experiences other than the ones I make up with fictional characters in my head.I started reading fanfiction when i was around 11 years old when I heard about it from a friend who was apart of Red maple. I used to book mark all my favorites and just created an account last year.I published a story online and realized that yes this is what i do with my social life.

I used to use fanfiction to escape from bullying and avoid emotional encounters.I've realized i don't know how to deal with people.I know I'm supposed to feel a specific emotion when they tell me their worries however, even if i were to feel anything I cannot bring myself to express it.Everyday for 6 years I ran upstairs, right after school to read fanfiction.I read from the time i got home to the time i got to bed.I'd forget the all the names that the kids called me at school and started creating my own fictional character that was immune to what I experienced.Every fanfic I read centered around her rather that who the character truly was.I've realized that more than half my thoughts are about her than my own life.

My course load has gotten harder,my eyesight gotten horrible and I've realized i haven't done anything in my life. I know as a fact that my grades would be far higher than what I have now. I can't study for an exam until I finish the fanfic I'm reading.Regardless of how many chapters there are.I need to stop this or else I'll never live my life only that of my fictional characters.

I've currently blocked fanfiction from my browser and redirected my fanfiction account to another email I never use.I have all this time on my hands now and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I just want people to know that they aren't alone in this and that they shouldn't be ashamed as we can overcome this.
Driva Driva
2 Responses Apr 21, 2012

Wow!! We are so alike in the way how we solved the problem.I did the same thing but I ended going to alternate email id and continue reading. But I am going to stop from now.Wish me luck

If you're interested, Fan Fiction Addicts Anonymous (FFAA) is a support group where you can discuss your struggles with fan fiction addiction. It could be a good place to talk - or a good start to recovery (and etc.). =D<br />
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